Failed Promise

Failed Promise

A Poem by apocalypse



Your tear dropped..

That smile withered..

To see you that way ..

My promise severed


You sit all cuddled up now..

Shriveled up.. your hope

I wish I had it my way..

To a brighter time ..we'd elope


I see I've failed you ..

A let down too grave

I would be there when needed..I'd sworn

I'm sorry I didn't live up to that..

I'm sorry I had to see you get torn


Too wound up in a supposed chimera

Too scared to stand up.. a whimpered call for salvation

I had no right to be so.. To snatch away your embrace

It wasn't right a moment.. when the tides got you..

and i stepped away with the coldest grace


You deserved better..

The aegis that was promised..

The guard against all darkness..

Instead you got nonchalance..

A bitter turn away ..just another helpless glance


Too late to ask for a do-over..

Too damaged to look for rescue..

But I'm here now..and I've sworn myself to you

What's lost..I'll atone for.. I'll get back that sparkle in your dew


You're safe in my arms now..

There's nothing to go wrong..

I've failed you once.. not again, it won't happen

I'm sworn to you.. this promise won't fail

I'll wipe it all away.. even grim's slightest trail


© 2010 apocalypse



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Featured Review

Well I'm glad to see you still use the big words I commented on. Your punctuation strikes me as odd (I don't remember if I've mentioned this before); the double periods at the end (or in the middle) of some lines look strange, because they aren't quite a statement - not that poetry ever needs one - and they don't quite lead on either. It's a mixed message and I'm not sure I follow.

Other than that, it's powerfully emotional, even if your language does run away from you a bit. You're treading a fine line between focusing on what you're saying and how you're saying it. Just don't lean too far to one side, that's all.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




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Vin
Really good, took me on the journey from losing it because you weren't there to getting it back and the promise of not making the same mistake. Emotions throughout were very clear and easy to understand. You have talent, well done :)

-Beth

Posted 7 Years Ago


Well I'm glad to see you still use the big words I commented on. Your punctuation strikes me as odd (I don't remember if I've mentioned this before); the double periods at the end (or in the middle) of some lines look strange, because they aren't quite a statement - not that poetry ever needs one - and they don't quite lead on either. It's a mixed message and I'm not sure I follow.

Other than that, it's powerfully emotional, even if your language does run away from you a bit. You're treading a fine line between focusing on what you're saying and how you're saying it. Just don't lean too far to one side, that's all.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 10, 2010
Last Updated on January 10, 2010

Author

apocalypse
apocalypse

jammu, India



About
Haven't exactly figured out the "What i am" aspect of me. Self-introspection doesn't happen to be one my best talents. I am intrigued by the morose nuances of life, but that doesn't make me any less.. more..

Writing
If only If only

A Poem by apocalypse



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