Four crusdaers

Four crusdaers

A Story by apocalypse
"

"The title could be misleading..and u might end up disappointed..'coz this was supposed to be a poem and it became too long..so made it into this.. not a story exactly..just a confused write"

"


"A delicate wisp ..of that lost time..
A fine string.. through an indefinite mime
The world of change saw a static..
The challenge to lone riders.. their dark magic

And came an insipid moment..
A pause that struck the mightiest
The heavens.. defeated.. shone again
The hells drew back.. This union..unplanned

And four crusaders crossed.. the hells shrieked again
'Coz the spark dreaded most..finally was revoked..
The road they'd been thrown on..
The shrill edge of life.. that'd done them cold
Finally met it's match.. the love the hells couldn't withold..
And they found their havens..away from the lone path..
A cross-road of co-existence.. a symbiosis by will
They stay together.. fight the other's battles..
The heaven's reinstated.. a utopic reality for the four..
Oblivious to their power hitherto.. they thank in thin air..they couldn't have asked for more..."



The hells broke over and the heavens could do nothing, or metaphorically so. This was the onset of the journey of our heroes..the four crusaders.

A pernicious storm, the gravest quake that shook them all beyond any hope of rising above it, when the hells shrieked in victory and the heavens sighed into defeat..this was when, the world was rendered a cold place..with nefarious fires all over, spelling out an inevitable grim-stricken doom for all who survived. Surviving or not didn't quite matter, for those who were slayed were sentenced to a purgatory issued by Satan himself and those who did live on, witnessed hell on whatever was left of the land hitherto protected by the Gods and their angels.

Among the survivors were those four..who lived on by whatever little was left of the destiny etched out by the gods of fate. Lost about where they were headed to, trudging along aimlessly on the road that destiny put them on. Neither did they try to reason out their lone journeys nor did they try to comprehend their supposed quest. They just played along, they'd lost any trace of love that might have been left even after the demon's sterilization against the same.. they'd lost the drive to live, yet they walked..walked indefinitely on fate's path ..lone and cold.

The devil's helpers sneered at them as they passed those blood bathed assassins with a vacant look in their once glistening eyes..each sneer shoved at them to pierce through and flay their souls..but none of this seemed to bother them..they just moved on..staring at a distant destination..guided by a tentative unison that'd serve as the ultimate salvation for them.

And then it happened..destiny struck where it was meant to.. and the crusaders reached a cross road ..brightened by a light that was warm..not borne off the pungent nefarious hearth ..but a glistening white flame.. like the essence of the heavens that were, had descended to fight the final battle against any hope of winning..

Like all chronicles of good over evil state.. love, in it's chastest most form, heals the best. So it happened here..The crusaders found their lost souls in each other.Their souls had been united since they existed.. the reason they missed the presence of it before they came together. This unison let out a wave of love so strong.. so purely  iridescent..that it wiped out all the darkness Satan's personal grim-reapers had radiated..Now, the hells shrieked..for when the four were together.. the trust they'd felt amongst them.. was stronger than all the diabolism put together.. they felt safe in the others presence.. the greatest conviction of all, the conviction of being loved for who they are.. dawned upon them as their destiny driven paths crossed. They still cried.. for the hells did retreat but left behind grim.. grim that got the best of them when they were lone.. but now that each had the others back.. each held out a hand for the other.. grim could only just bring them tears.. which when braved through with love so powerful..only made the union stronger.

There've been several storms since then.. a lot of infernal attempts have tried to bomb through the shield they've built..and that leaves them broken, mostly each time unfailingly.. but something's grown stronger about the four since the roads crossed.. and that makes them indispensable for each other.. they get back to the other each time.. fight together, maybe just towards another defeat.. but still together.. No sin does them part.. No grave apocalypses about each other.. the serpent's attempts to take them back to haunting times.. No deathly epiphanies..Nothing, at all has been able to wipe out the love they have for each other.. the saviors of their times..  the saviors of their selves.. they lived through the ultimate Armageddon for the destiny had etched out their camaraderie.

 



© 2010 apocalypse



Author's Note

apocalypse
bring on the harsh reviews..actually ready for them.. this one deserves it all..I have no idea how it became so lame.. It's started off as a beautiful poem..Guess I lost my way.

My Review

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Featured Review

There's no way I'll be harsh after you attempted to write a story. My story 'Static' used to be a poem when it started not making sense. I'm no good with poetry, really. So I turned it into a story.

What you have here is the plot arch. Well, a plot arch in words.

You can transform it into a story by digging into the details of each character and scenario. :D

You will do well in writing a story as much as you're good with poems.

Keep up the good job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Well that was...different.

Either your love of big words receded for this one or it works so much better in a story setting that I didn't notice. Not sure which.

It's definitely not a story in the traditional sense of the word. It feels more like a parable, or a fable your grandfather might tell you when you're six years old and sitting on his knee or something. For that reason, I'm inclined to be nice to it. As a story goes, it's atrocious. The character's aren't developed, the scenario is explained but the setting isn't, and the plot is kind of pointless.

But it's not a story.

I don't know if you want to use the word fable, maybe legend, whatever you want to call it, it's not something you'd expect to read in a book. For what it IS, however, it's pretty damned good. Hell, the fact that I could recognize what it should have been when I don't even think you knew speaks of how powerful the work is in its nature.

I suspect you would not have as much success telling a real story, and if you tried, I'd happily rip it to pieces, but this one is good in its own right.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I like how this begins. good write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is quite the interesting read here. I like it though. Like the story line alot.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There's no way I'll be harsh after you attempted to write a story. My story 'Static' used to be a poem when it started not making sense. I'm no good with poetry, really. So I turned it into a story.

What you have here is the plot arch. Well, a plot arch in words.

You can transform it into a story by digging into the details of each character and scenario. :D

You will do well in writing a story as much as you're good with poems.

Keep up the good job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Could make a interesting story. Describe the characters. Add to the storyline. Many direction you could go with this. Possibility of very good story. I like the beginning.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 10, 2010
Last Updated on January 10, 2010

Author

apocalypse
apocalypse

jammu, India



About
Haven't exactly figured out the "What i am" aspect of me. Self-introspection doesn't happen to be one my best talents. I am intrigued by the morose nuances of life, but that doesn't make me any less.. more..

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If only If only

A Poem by apocalypse



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