All grown up???

Your tone turns grave,
Your mind goes rave,
You lock up the kid within,
And you're all grown up?

You turn cold,
Your stride severely bold,
Head before heart
And you're all grown up?

A linear road to walk,
You vision's a rock,
Leave all feeling behind,
And you're all grown up?

You realize that love's immature
A kid's fantasy to secure
Just living on till you're done
Rational perfection You've cracked
And you're all grown up?

You understand life's not a song
Walking between right and wrong
You laugh and you cry
But you master a look...dry
And you're all grown up?

"Happy is an illusion. A dream that ends sore"
"So you pick a hollow nightmare instead...'coz the dream will soon be dead?"

Reviews

[Inci]

i liked it very much especially the line..."you locked up the kid within"..but the last line takes the cake

[Aekmy]

We all grow up too fast until we're caught in the speed.

Amazing write.

[The Perfectionist]

You may want to look at the fact that your first three stanzas are full of short lines and the latter two are longer. Looks a little disjointed.

This is definitely a poem I can identify with. The repeated use of the ending line as a question definitely sticks out (though given that you do have a general rhyme scheme, it looks strange in the first stanzas. Works much better in the latter ones).

If I was going to nitpick, and I am, I would say change the second last line. It feels forced and it really sticks out again the rest of the well-written poem.

[Dev]

You realize that love's immature
A kid's fantasy to secure
Just living on till you're done
Rational perfection You've cracked
And you're all grown up?

Love the way it questions the fact that we think we're all grown up when we cross each small bridge in life.. (atleast thats what I think :) )