All grown up???

All grown up???

A Poem by apocalypse

Your tone turns grave,
Your mind goes rave,
You lock up the kid within,
And you're all grown up?

You turn cold,
Your stride severely bold,
Head before heart
And you're all grown up?

A linear road to walk,
You vision's a rock,
Leave all feeling behind,
And you're all grown up?

You realize that love's immature
A kid's fantasy to secure
Just living on till you're done
Rational perfection You've cracked
And you're all grown up?

You understand life's not a song
Walking between right and wrong
You laugh and you cry
But you master a look...dry
And you're all grown up?



"Happy is an illusion. A dream that ends sore"
"So you pick a hollow nightmare instead...'coz the dream will soon be dead?"



© 2010 apocalypse



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Reviews

i liked it very much especially the line..."you locked up the kid within"..but the last line takes the cake

Posted 7 Years Ago


We all grow up too fast until we're caught in the speed.

Amazing write.



Posted 7 Years Ago


You may want to look at the fact that your first three stanzas are full of short lines and the latter two are longer. Looks a little disjointed.

This is definitely a poem I can identify with. The repeated use of the ending line as a question definitely sticks out (though given that you do have a general rhyme scheme, it looks strange in the first stanzas. Works much better in the latter ones).

If I was going to nitpick, and I am, I would say change the second last line. It feels forced and it really sticks out again the rest of the well-written poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago


You realize that love's immature
A kid's fantasy to secure
Just living on till you're done
Rational perfection You've cracked
And you're all grown up?

Love the way it questions the fact that we think we're all grown up when we cross each small bridge in life.. (atleast thats what I think :) )

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on March 23, 2010
Last Updated on March 23, 2010

Author

apocalypse
apocalypse

jammu, India



About
Haven't exactly figured out the "What i am" aspect of me. Self-introspection doesn't happen to be one my best talents. I am intrigued by the morose nuances of life, but that doesn't make me any less.. more..

Writing
If only If only

A Poem by apocalypse



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