Crow

Your eyes of black

Your feathers true

Perched at my window

Crying too

 

I hold myself

As I begin to shout

"Why are you here!?

Get out! Get out!"

 

The crow just stared

It's eyes burning into mine

I threw my heart at it

And it copied my whine

 

I'm haunted by it

This crow by my side

With it's wings spread out

It leaps inside

 

My body is now cold

My heart is now black

My crow has overcome me

And I can never go back

Reviews

[ATTIKIT]

very well written

[Jeff Loquist]

it's a little unsettling how they just perch there and stare..them crows

[Vicki L.]

I love how haunting this is. And I really like how you started this as a story and ended it as a metaphor.

The first and fourth stanza are really tightly written. There were a few lines that I felt broke the flow of the poem because they were a little long compared to the rest. "It's eyes burning into mine" and "With it's wings spread out" in particular. If you feel like it, mess around with them and see how they would sound if they were shorter.

I like this a lot :) keep up the good work!

[Sean Allen]

Nicely done my friend. Your writing skills seem fitting for one who would take on the smartest of all the birds!

[nono]

Okay beautiful I wrote a poem called "Grey Crow" And you know there is something about that bird I love a grey crow tch try finding one. I would love to one I think they're beautiful birds. As well is this poem you did a wonderful job on it. Trying to get out not what I would have thought while reading.

[PianoandPage]

love the tension and lead up and the final moment. tells a story and does a really great job of taking a literal moment and seamlessly turning it into a metaphor.

some of your lines ran long and it broke up the really tight meter you had in the 1st stanza. particularly "its eyes burning into mine" took me out of the flow of the piece. maybe consider shortening it.

overall i'm very impressed with this piece. it moved me and gave me a few goosebumps. nice!

[nostal]

Haunting.
Very well written.

[TheKaylaPup]

very nice. I like it alot.

[C. Porter]

Ooooh, I love it! A haunting poem, great job. A little creepy and great. Kudos!