Roses and Dark Sand

Turning, forever turning

Lay amongst the blackened sand

Of which is held inside your hand

 

Holding, forever holding

Touch the wicked suns of day

Hold my heart; forever stay

 

Loving, forever loving

Offering a rose with gentle nature's touch

Holding it softly with a child's clutch

 

Reaching, forever reaching

Buried within the enchanting dream

Eyes lost in a reflective gleam

 

Turning, forever turning

On a beach, in a place of our own

With just a rose and a ghost unknown

Author's Note

I am going to redo this poem, but I mostly wanted to just get the idea/basis for it down.

Reviews

[Nothing Personal]

Oh actually i meant the effect you create with the first line in each stanza.

[Nothing Personal]

The effect you create with your first line is really great..Implications of this poem obviously extends beyond the lines but i can sense desperate hope in its content and waiting for something which is yearned deeply.

[boyinblue]

while very beautiful and thought provoking, it still has a very widespread meaning, so much that I am at crossroads as to what you were trying to say. Still, I really enjoyed this piece.

[Penulis Kecil]

I enjoyed this, but I can't wait to read your redone version! There's some real potential here; my favourite line is definitely the last. There's something beautiful and haunting about it!

[Aven]

this is a wonderful piece... I love the way it reads... the imagery... the feeling... a beautiful poem alltogether. If I had to change something it would be "holding" instead of "hold" and perhaps the last line... well written!