Shot Through the Heart

Left in the corner of the stone alleyway

Alone and unspoken and abandoned in heart break

The shot of love’s bullet tore straight through me

Unfaltering trust of passion’s demise

 

Crimson elixir pouring out of my wound

I glanced up at the girl I thought I knew

A barrel facing back at me, I was doomed

Ten shots fired, my pain was through

The girl I loved left me in the stone cold alleyway

My voice begging out to someone, anyone, that would listen

But nobody heard the whimpering sounds fading away

The distance sounds of hope in the distance glisten

 

Her footsteps dissolved into the surrounding air

The very oxygen suffocating me like poisoned razors in my supply

My eyes barely opened to see her run like she didn’t care

Away from her mistake, her lover, her lie

 

As I felt the painstaking venomous passion arise in my chest

A single salty tear rolled down my cheek, the last one to fall

There I slept eternally, euthanized to rest

In the arms of heaven I whispered, “I loved you through it all”

 

I never heard her utter, “I’m sorry, I loved you.”

Reviews

[BelowABridge]

Intense. Some of your formings of words really amaze me and i had to read them again and again "there slepted eternally, euthanized to rest"
and "the distance sounds of hope in the distance glistening" --> even though that confused me at first I really liked the synethsia...combing glistening sounds to describe hope as it fades. very nice.
some of your lines I think are a little long and wordy, but i think it works with this poem. When I read it the words kind of tumbled over each other rushing to the end and it worked.
nice write.

[Lorraine]

You take passion into such dangerous height. I love the bitter acceptance of the man, the way he so easily surrendered without calling her name for the last time. Of course, I also like the way the girl ran away despite claiming her love for him. The well established imagery add to the delicious drama.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is deep, another excellent write

[<3beneathstars;]

wow. this was so profound.

[Tina Kline]

What a tragedy! It is intense and so very well done. I love it!

[BelowABridge]

I like the title... seems kind of like cupid arrow shot, but very far from. kind of ironic. I'm a fan.

[angelina neves]

powerful and beautiful!