Reflections on the Eulogy

 Some will embrace it, some'll be afraid

Some will ponder the mess they've made

Some will pray - but those who've prayed

Will still watch the world deliquesce and fade

 Some will kiss their loved ones goodbye

Some we'll think of from time to time

Some will be sleeping and some will cry

And some we'll see on the other side

 When my lungs release my last gasp of air

And the universe will not despair

And if you don't call an ambulance I won't care

You can get to heaven from anywhere...

Reviews

[nevermindfan1991]

This poem is one of the few on this site that utilizes a rhyme scheme well. Your rhyme scheme seems very organic and authentic. I'm confused why you decided to use half-rhymes in the second stanza. You're use of the word "deliquesce" blew me out of this world. Your attention to word choice and diction is amazing! My problem is with the second stanza it is not as fluid and effortless as the first stanza. The last stanza aaaa is fine until the third line you go off meter and I don't know how it plays into the poem and I'm not sure how the last line plays into the poem as a whole. Anyway for the most part this poem was well written. You now have a fan of your work. Just work some kinks out and this will be a great poem!

[whatwhatnow?]

That last line literally sent a shiver down my spine. It's sudden realisation of truth, love and fear.

[Persona]

Mm better! Yay!
Last gasp of air okay they could be dying from old age or anything but yes, it's clear! Woo! (I feel like cheering, excuse that)!
Yay I love people who take on feedback! (Especially when the work's better after)!

[BLACK PRINCE]

This is a deep poem.

I love the last line ' You can get to Heaven from anywhere '

There is somehow some sad about this.
I guess perhaps the sadness is the inevitability of death.....
a sad but true fact.


WELL DONE !!!

[Chris]

A touch of humor at the end... ironic?

[Persona]

I like the title.
This has a calmness to it and a peaceful serenity. The religious side is shown but in a blissful way, as if we're not to be sorrowful.
The last few lines had me a little confused though, but I'm not an expert on poetry. I can say though that I thought the first two verses made sense. I think forgive I swear is a big throw off because of the way it looks visually. Poems don't always need to be fancy and secretive. The ambulance and heaven bit. Is someone having a heart attack or...? Don't be afraid to tell a story within a poem

[Schadenfreude]

You have a great flow and rhythm to this!