Deep Water

                

                    

                        Deep Water

 

        I take my first step in unknowingly

                                  Its cold velvety feel sends a shiver down my spine

                                               At first it feels like nothing to me

          Yet unaware I slowly am entwined

     Further in, I tread, though why I do not know

     It scares me but my mind is somehow numb

              It doesn't call to me, like a foe

     But instead I fear it, knowing what is to come

              I have no power to fight it

           It consumes me, all and whole

         Not in large amounts but bit by bit

                         Yet it knows my every thought, unraveling me like a scroll

            Now I'm too far in to turn around

             The waters envelope my being

               No more to find solid ground

                  No more of freely seeing

      I'm drowning, I feel it, there is no hope

             The water rises to my neck

       Does anyone bother to throw a rope

       Can I survive this mental shipwreck

            The wet hands lap over my head

                    I know this is the end

            I come face to face with this dread

           This be how my last moment spend

               This type of fear is fateful

         It delievers a swift and blunt verdict

     To have conquered it, I would be grateful

          This wisdom does my mind afflict

           But through it all, do this I know

         While in the midst of deep water

               Or at your lowest of low

                                   There is One who will save me from this slaughter

     He knows of my worries, frets and fears

         But He does much more than that

          He comforts and dries my tears

                                         Willingly ready to listen to my forlorn chat

           

          So take heart and lift your hands

           And call on Him who rescues

        He eagerly awaits to stop and stand

        And remove the waves from you

                   

        

      

             

    

     

    

    

      

                                

                    

                                 

       

Reviews

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

^^ I really enjoyed reading this, I love the description, I could feel the water rush over me. I love the first stanza it really caught my attention! I like the idea of describing the water as velvety, a very interesting concept, it reminds me of comfort, yet it sends shivers down your spine so in a way certain things in life can be appealing but we soon find out the truth and we find we went in to deep. Thankfully God is always there and He will help us through! I would suggest maybe deleting the world "too" in the last stanza, it will read more smoothly at least in my opinion, it is up to you. ^^ Again great job on the description!

Good Job

[Kimberly Miller]

Thank you so much for your review and advice!

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

^^ You're very welcome!

[Levi Levin]

I enjoyed reading this poem. Great job!

[Kimberly Miller]

Thank you so much!!

[Anna James]

I like the part that someone saved her from slaughter. I like it the way it make me ask, who is "He"? I like the title too. Cheers to the author!

[Kimberly Miller]

Thank you so much for your kind review!!

[Anna James]

You're welcome!