Disdain.

Disdain.

A Poem by Nabeeha Mustafa
"

Days of endless struggle..

"
Days of endless struggle,
Hopefully more pills today.
Trying best to appear 'normal',
In some sort of way.
People complained I had a lot going for me,
I'm sorry, but I just can't see,
Because my worst enemy is not life, but inside of me.
Messed up fishtail,
ruined mascara,
Laying my back against the old sofa,
I saw the darkness engulf me.
I felt chill in my veins,
And my soul shouted, 'What a disdain.'

© 2015 Nabeeha Mustafa



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Featured Review

A good poem expressing pain and frustration effectively. Good job! :)

Days of endless struggle,
Hopefully more pills today.
Trying best to appear 'normal',
In some sort of way.
The beginning is really powerful. It sets the mood for the poem nicely. Very well written. :)

Because my worst enemy is not life, but inside of me.
I completely agree with this truth. We are our greatest enemies. Beautifully written. :) However, we say ''inside us'' not ''inside of us''.

Messed up fishtail,
ruined mascara,
Laying my back against the old sofa,
I saw the darkness engulf me.
The imagery in these lines is so perfect. The girl is complete broken and these lines do a perfect job a expressing it. Well done! :)
I felt chill in my veins,
And my soul shouted, 'What a disdain.'
Generally, when we talk about chill, it's either ''a chill'' like ''she felt a chill down her spine'' or ''the chill'' like ''the chill in the winters''. So I think it sould be ''I felt a chill in my veins''. The lines are so touching and powerful. You've done an excellent job here. The poem is amazing! Keep up the good work! :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nabeeha Mustafa

2 Years Ago

This review was quite helpful. Thankyou so much :') This was much encouraging.
Bushra Naqshbandi

2 Years Ago

You're welcome :)



Reviews

quite a tale of depression Nabeeha, you told the story very well and poetically its lovely, no disdain here just great writing :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


Nabeeha Mustafa

2 Years Ago

Haha. Thankyou :'D
a beautiful write,sounds like a little depression,and we all have some

Posted 2 Years Ago


Nabeeha Mustafa

2 Years Ago

Yeah. Just went for dark poetry this time :) Thankyou!
 wordman

2 Years Ago

you are welcome

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Added on May 10, 2015
Last Updated on May 10, 2015


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