Vampire Stalks

Vampire Stalks     By nannalee   © 2008 nannalee (All rights reserved)   Vampire stalks the night; lust for blood churns in his veins. Evil eyes survey his surroundings. Leora trembles with fear. Their eyes meet; Leora is captivated and completely under his spell. She collapsed in his arm; as he makes love to her with his eyes; he maneuvers her into the right position for maximum drainage. His eyes flood with ecstasy as sharp fangs sink deep into her flesh, sucking her blood into his veins, completing his reason for being. In a moment of rapture, Leora cries out in exotic pain just before her final collapse, left dead in the rain. Author: Nancy Lee Shrader

 

Reviews

[Craig Bates]

Very different to what I was expecting from the prompt word! One of my favourite things about it is how people can take create such different stories from a single word.
I'll say outright - it isn't the kind of thing I usually read and that's perhaps why I found some of it a bit grating ('he maneuvers her into the right position for maximum drainage' comes to mind).
A technical pointer would be to not use semi-colons quite so much. They're most effective when used sparingly and I thought this may have benefited from losing a few of them.
Overall though a very good use of the prompt and the word count.