Beauty in Pain

Beauty in Pain

A Poem by Addict With a Pen
"

The graceful art of a broken, shattered heart...

"

There is a beauty in pain,

an art to the way the heart cracks,

a never ending inspiration caused by falling tears

and quivering lips


And sorrow, is our own art show display

created by the world’s broken people,

painted by those they loved most


There is a beauty in pain,

and only some people can see

the personal, twisted and hidden gallery


But when we forget there’s a beauty in pain

we remember the tragedy

The unseemly scars and coarse calluses

The scattered pieces of ourselves

that won’t fit back together


As inevitable as pain is

We mourn our sorrows everyday

Consumed, thinking its image

Is evil in every way


So those

who look for and see the beauty,

have found a way

to avoid their own pain





© 2017 Addict With a Pen



Author's Note

Addict With a Pen
Thanks for reading :)

My Review

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Reviews

this is a really good piece! very well thought out and i especially love the last stanza!!

Posted 5 Months Ago


This feels like a modern & original way to make the age-old point about how there's a lesson in everything, even painful events. I like the way you are urging the reader to consider another viewpoint when considering heartache, rather than making this sound like a lecture where you are making critical remarks about people who become so ensnared by the pain that they don't see the bigger picture of such experiences. I like that this is a gentle reminder, not judgmental.

Posted 5 Months Ago


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BBP
Absolutely love this poem! The take on beauty in pain is so very true. I love how you used the art show analogy.

Fantastic write !

Posted 5 Months Ago


Addict With a Pen

5 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing :)
In regards to your author's note: I don't think you over-used the line "beauty in pain." I thought the repetition set in nicely and emphasized the theme.
What I like most about this piece is how vividly it captures beauty in life's darkest times. The metaphors and imagery are spot-on in not only conveying the point, but making the reader feel the words. The first stanza pulled me in and every stanza that followed kept me hooked. The last line is both true and powerful ... it gave a great final impression.

If I may critique, I don't think capitializing every line does this piece justice. I know it's a stylistic choice, but consider:

There is a beauty in pain
An art to the way the heart cracks

There are two ways one could read the lines above. In one way (the way you intended), the lines are read as if they're in the same sentence. In the other way, first line reads as a complete sentence and the second line reads as the start to a new sentence ... if that happens, the reader could stumble on the third line. With this critique in mind, the first stanza would read:

There is a beauty in pain,
an art to the way the heart cracks,
a never ending inspiration caused by falling tears
and quivering lips

Don't get me wrong, I didn't stumble as I read those lines, but a reader possibly could ... best to lessen that possibility as much as possible.

Another critique: In the third line of the third stanza, I suggest saying "the personal" for emphasis instead of "a personal."

Another critique: The line "but if we don't look for the beauty in pain" felt a bit chunky to me. A general rule of writing is to avoid the word "not" as much as possible, as in most cases, it's best to tell what things are, not what they aren't. That being said, something like "but if we ingore the beauty in pain" or "but blind to the beauty in pain" would be stronger in my opinion.

I know I spent a great deal of this review with critiques, but trust me, those parts of the poem weren't as distracting as the length of my critiques would suggest. I just felt like I had to explain my reasoning in detail.

- William Liston

Posted 5 Months Ago


Addict With a Pen

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much, I've always loved constructed criticism. I knew this piece needed work, I just ne.. read more

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Added on April 21, 2017
Last Updated on April 30, 2017

Author

Addict With a Pen
Addict With a Pen

Salt Lake City, UT



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Are you searching for purpose? Then write something, yeah it might be worthless Then paint something, then it might be wordless Pointless curses, nonsense verses You'll see purpose start to surfac.. more..

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