Waiting for Blossoms to Rise

Waiting for Blossoms to Rise

A Poem by Deepshikha
"

It's a vicious cycle, one of hope, uprising, death, agony, and once again, hope.

"
There is nothing in the world,
that leads me to believe
that any thing is gained from you.

There is nothing to be seen
when the sun sets in blood,
and I'm walking away, saying "Adieu."

Lost little people,
running through the seas,
losing the light of God.

Darkness descends,
and the world is bathed in blood,
simply shrugged off with a nod.

Nothing can save us,
there is nothing in the world,
rifts cannot be sealed, no savior.

Pristine little hearts,
marred by hate,
nothing to stop misbehavior.

When the larks cross the earth,
singing holy songs,
I close my mind, no sound.

Broad smiles hide a sword,
no facade of golden rust,
waiting for the moment to be found.

Once more we try again,
not bettering ourselves,
wallowing in pride.

And at the end there's only dust,
To prove what's gone through,
Waiting for blossoms to rise, I cried.

At last my tears might stop,
when the hope that remains,
claims the world once more.

© 2009 Deepshikha



Author's Note

Deepshikha
I don't know about the flow... =_=

My Review

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Featured Review

It started out with rhyme and then breaks into free verse. While the message is good, and you can read it all the way through it's almost like starting off reading a poem and then reading a story/journal entry. Maybe change it up so it looks like a page right out of your diary? That way the seperation of the lines won't obstruct the thoughts of this piece. You can still rhyme in it though, because sometimes we just think in rhymes without trying. Keep up the good work!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

It started out with rhyme and then breaks into free verse. While the message is good, and you can read it all the way through it's almost like starting off reading a poem and then reading a story/journal entry. Maybe change it up so it looks like a page right out of your diary? That way the seperation of the lines won't obstruct the thoughts of this piece. You can still rhyme in it though, because sometimes we just think in rhymes without trying. Keep up the good work!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You are right it is quite a carnivorous cycle indeed. I like the general idea and the fact that you chose the blossoming flower and winter as symbols. I think the flow is rough in spots. I think some of the roughness comes from some of the placement of the punctuation, and other areas from the phrasing. This piece is a blossom-meditate on it for awhile, let it drift, then pull it in. It will soon bloom.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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811 Views
2 Reviews
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Added on December 22, 2009
Last Updated on December 25, 2009
Tags: hope, holy, wars, cycles, peace

Author

Deepshikha
Deepshikha

Where Time Passes, PA



About
This is archive for the poetry I've written, spanning back from when I first started writing in 2007. I mostly write fiction now and don't post it on here. Enjoy if you'd like. I'm Deepshikha. .. more..

Writing
stagnant stagnant

A Poem by Deepshikha



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