I Don't Hate You

I Don't Hate You

A Poem by Deepshikha
"

Inspired by Savior by Rise Against...and I think you could sing this poem.

"
Break through the acetate,
Survive that falling hate,
Let's leave our hands to fate.

Let sleeping lay dogs lie,
Come fall across the sky,
Don't you dare make me cry.

I don't hate you.
I don't hate you now.

We'll travel long and far
And softly break our scars,
Be 'mortalized in stars.

Come dear and take my hand,
Let's trek the desert sands,
Let's storm through all 'them lands.

I don't hate you.
I don't hate you now.

There's nothing you can do,
We simply must get through,
I want to know you're true.

Together we'll fall down,
We'll bring a storm to town,
You are my heart's dear crown.

I don't hate you.
I don't hate you now.

I know what I have done,
Follow the setting sun,
Forgive and with me run.

The only one I love,
Fly with my heart, my dove,
When push comes to shove...

I don't hate you.

© 2009 Deepshikha



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Author's Note

Deepshikha
Notice how everything is six syllables? :D

My Review

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Featured Review

You're a such a brilliant soul! I was blown away be every stanza,even before I noticed the syllabic structure! You found a way to rhyme these lines perfectly and still make each line significant. But the recurring couplet isn't in six syllables,that I noticed. Nevertheless,this work remains untarnished. Genius!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

i like this, its a different style then i've seen before.
u know, ive always tried to write like this, as in write a song.
its never worked. hmm..
but this is powerful...i like the lines: Come dear and take my hand,
Let's trek the desert sands,
Let's storm through all 'them lands.
they're clever, and innovative.
well thought out.
i especially love the incorporation of *acetate* yay Bio!
but im confused as to what that line meant...id love to be enlightened!
anyway,
great poem!
looking forward to reading more

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This piece is pretty interesting. I liked this piece, however you accomplished a hard feat. You wrote a poem that has a meaning that still has good rhyme and you set up every line to have six syllables! amazing job! keep up the great work

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It is very clever of you to have penned this piece in triplets with six syllable lines. You sure you don't hate him ;) I can really see this as a song. I could really feel the Rise Against vibe in here. They are a great band. Only thing that I want to bring up is the rhyme in stanza seven line three. I am not sure that "blue" fully fits the line. Otherwise I think that this is a great write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


haha i did notice you rainbow t**d :P lol acetate XD C2H3O2 -1 :D

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1592 Views
14 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on December 25, 2009
Last Updated on December 26, 2009
Tags: hate, love, travel, far, poem, inspired

Author

Deepshikha
Deepshikha

Where Time Passes, PA



About
This is archive for the poetry I've written, spanning back from when I first started writing in 2007. I mostly write fiction now and don't post it on here. Enjoy if you'd like. I'm Deepshikha. .. more..

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