Believe it or not, this wasn’t the first time Clint had done
this, at this very playground in fact. The difference was, they weren’t 9 years
old anymore. It meant something this time; it meant a LOT this time. This was
why when Summer pressed back against him he couldn’t have been happier.
Clint didn’t want to pull away, and it took all of his will
power to do so, but he had to tell her it was now or never. “I love you.” He said,
grinning like an idiot. “I love you too silly,” Summer said laughing “you’re my
best friend.”
Clint’s heart sank
down to the pit of his stomach but he refused to let that be her answer. Regardless
of whether she loved him back or not, she would know that he was IN love with
her, and he would tell her right now!
“Summer Jean Dunmore, Look at me.” Clint said his voice
slightly wavering as he lightly pushed her chin up so she was looking him in
the eye. “Sum, I’m IN love with you. I have been since I was nine years old and
I kissed you on that swing set over there because you told me that that’s
what friends do. I’ve been in love with you for Seven Bloody years! Seven
years of keeping quiet, seven years of waiting, of wishing, of wondering. And today
I FINALLY get up the courage to kiss you finally tell you I love you. And you
pull the friend card on me. Do you not see how much that hurts me? I didn’t Kiss
you because you’re my best friend. I kissed you because I love you, and I couldn’t
stand not telling you for one more second.”
It was Clint’s turn to stare at his feet now, he shifted his
weight awkwardly from one foot to another waiting for her to respond; but she didn’t.
“Now I’ve doneit.” He thought. “I’ve gone and scared her. Now she will never want to talk to me again. What
is wrong with me! I’m so stupid to think that she would love me.”
He looked up and stared into her bright green eyes,
wondering if because of his stupid hormones if it would be the last time he
did. “I’m sorry Summer, I shouldn’t have said that…I should have kept quiet...”
he stopped when he realized that her eyes, her beautiful eyes were filled with
tears.
Does she hate me that
much? Clint wondered. Wishing that he was anywhere but at this playground
at the moment. Wishing that she wasn’t crying wishing he knew what to say to
her. Wishing he could take it all back if it meant they could stay friends.
“do you mean it?” Summer asked her voice barely a whisper as
if she was scared to be asking. “yes” Clint said looking at his feet again
ashamed to have made her cry, still completely convinced it was because she was
disgusted with him. “Clint,” she said softly. “look at me.”
Clint raised his eyes from his worn out converse to Summer’s
soft face. he was afraid, scared that she would tell him that he was nothing
more than a friend or worse that he wasn’t even that anymore. He had never been
so scared in his life; even when he thought he was going to die of cancer.
Before Clint could take anything in summer lunged at him, wrapping
her arms around his neck and plastering her soft lips to his. He couldn’t breathe,
not that he wanted to anyway it would subtract from the moment. Make the
fireworks and the butterflies go away completely. He never wanted it to end,
but when Summer pulled away after a good thirty seconds he couldn’t bring
himself to do anything but grin like an idiot.
“I love you too you dofas.” She said before crashing her
lips to his again completely oblivious to the fact that they were still
standing almost in the middle of the street. Tonight they were the only ones in
the world.
PLEASE!!!!
TEAR IT APART. somehow i dont have ANY idea how but i think something is wrong.
HELP ME FIX IT!!
idk what i did wrong i need imput:)
thanks,
My Review
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It's too short, and a little too fast. Draw it out more. Describe the playground, the swings, the play equipment. Describe the time of night it is, if there's cars around, bring us more into the setting. In last chapter with your dialogue descriptions, that put me in the car.
But in this chapter, I don't feel like I'm there. I also don't know if it would be so natural with them like this-- wouldn't their first embrace after admitting being in love with one another feel.. awkward?
Usually thats the case at least, after being friends that many years you learn how to behave around each other. but with the in love card played, i would think they would not know how to act around each other at all, or how to break from their routine.. if they think they should.. or what to think, really.
However, these two are different and I must take that into account.
Sweet chapter though, this book is really cute.
100/100
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Mistakes= nothing :)
I LOVE THEM TOGETHER!!!!! He can't die this isn't righttt :( He has to live happy ever after with Summerrr!! They're just to cute together! I'm reading on now :)
I don't see any thing wrong with this chapter I think it is amazing chapter I am so happy that Clint told her how he feels and I am so happy that she feels The same way I just wished it could last for ever and ever
Interesting chapter.
Something is wrong with this? I'm gonna have to pull out some crafty analytical skills to work this one out. In that case, it's not so much what you've done, but what you haven't done. I don't think I can see exactly what that is, because nothing's wrong with this.
The biggest change in this chapter is the pace of the writing, and in particular, the speed of which things happen in the spaces of the paragraphs. This was the only chapter which was based on less than 5 minutes. That's not a bad thing, as this is a pivotal chapter. "It was" should be "It was now" and "in summer" should be "In Summer"
This chapter is great because what happens in the last paragraph is unpredictable, and that is a skill in itself.
I just read it again....and I don't see what you think is wrong! I honestly think it was well done.
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This chapter is the best! Especially the last part.
I'm happy for them....
But he has cancer....
So I'm afraid.
Very well done, and I anticipate the rest.
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My name is Arianna
~Random things about me~
- I'm 17
- I have 1 Brother
- If I went To Hogwarts, I'd Be a Slytherin. Sue me
- I'm The Oldest Sibling
- I Have Twenty first Cousins.
- I hate .. more..