Them

There is a girl

And all she does is weep

while wandering in an all white dress

And she may sound like a ghost

and you're correct to assume

Because she's mourning the death

of her former self

There is a boy

And all he does is scream

And run

Like he's escaping his coffin

And he may sound like a ghost

And you're correct to assume

Because he's mourning the death

Of his former self

There is a woman

With bruised feet

and a scarred heart

And her face is stained with tears

She still wanders from time to time

Wondering when she'll find love

There is a man

With cut feet

And a bruised heart

And he's covered in the pain of yesterday

He still runs from time to time

Searching for love

But unfortunately for the woman

You can only wander for so long

Before you find the edge of the world

And you have nothing to do but jump

And explore the ocean

So her scars faded as she fell

But sadly for the man

You can only run for so long

Before you reach the end of the road

And his end was a bridge and gun

So his scars faded as she fell

And at last these two broken hearts

Finally made a whole

At the bottom of the world they hated so

Reviews

[emipoemi]

This piece is absolutely profoundly fantastic!! It started so well, it continued on without a hitch until the penultimate stanza. "Before you reach the end of the road" (Perfect!!)....it's the following line that could be shortened to something like "a bridge, a gun", for we readers don't need to be told certain details, for showing is more powerful. Also, did you mean "so his scars faded as HE fell" instead of "she"? I'm a bit confused since the last line says "at the bottom of the world" and you also talked about jumping off with the woman.....

To conclude, just want to give to tiny notes of power, which you don't have to take if you don't want to: "covered in the pain of yesterdayS" (the plural gives it more depth), and "At the bottom of the world they hated" (no "so"....no need).

[bella]

Sorry that's a typo haha thank you for the review all my writing are just works in progress together

[N.]

This piece is so beautifully sad if there such a thing. The end is sad yet you are happy for the man and woman what a juxtaposition.

[bella]

Thanks I have a really different opinion on suicide and I think this is the best way to put it.

[N.]

It was well put.

[girlontop]

There are some nice quotes in there! I especially like "You can only wander for so long
Before you find the edge of the world" ;)