You know the show Friends?  Well, that’s us.  Well, not actually us, but it was like us.  All of us together, all of us close by, always at someone’s house…usually mine.  We even had a “Joey”.  Well, sort of.  He was already famous when he joined our group.  His brother was a “member” so we inherited him.  His name is Jonathan, or John, or on more endearing occasions, Johnny.
    John is a musician, and comes and goes as his career demands.  The first time his brother, Jason brought him into the group, everyone knew about John but me, since I was new too.  Imagine my surprise when the 6’2” figure appeared in the room.  It was bad enough I was already a fan.  However, to be standing face to face (well face to well defined chest) with piercing blue eyes, goatee, and bicep length curly dark hair, was well, stupefying.  Since it was me, it was also embarrassing.  Nothing coherent escaped my mouth except, “Can I get you a drink?” which was met with a knowing smirk.
    Eventually, I got over my star struck giddiness, John realized I wasn’t a total ass, and we slowly eased into friendship mode.  John’s easygoing nature and quick wit paired with my sarcasm and sharp tongue made for fun banter and flirtation.  Everyone noticed, but we dismissed it as “just a little fun” usually followed by my getting a nooggie.  
    The problem was, when I was alone, I had to admit, it wasn’t just fun.  I had a serious crush on him.  One day, I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror.  “He’s perfect, famous and married.  Get over it.”  I tucked my feelings away, never to think about them again, well OK almost never.
    That was 10 years ago.  We’re all still together, and most importantly, John and I grew into actual friends.  I’ve never really asked him, but I think he gravitated towards me because I never intruded.  I never asked for stories, I never asked for anything.  If he wanted to talk about anything, I was there for him, but I never pushed.  That made the time we spent together comfortable and safe.  
    About a year after we met, John checked himself into rehab for a month and subsequently divorced his wife.  I found him more often than not sitting on my couch playing with his portable recording equipment.  I didn’t even smack him for putting his grubby boots on my coffee table.  
    I’d come home and he’d be stretched out by the pool in my back yard.  His beautiful, liberally oiled muscles glistening and bronzing in the sun.  Those days were tough.  Those were the days I couldn’t keep my feelings neatly tucked away.  If a cold shower didn’t help, sometimes a pint or eight of ice cream would, sometimes only battery-powered items would help.  I’m also ashamed to admit, while involved with various boyfriends, closing my eyes and pretending they were John.  
    Lately, I’ve sensed a change in him.  I’ve casually brought it up with various members of the group, but none of them have seemed to notice.  “What do you mean, different?” Julia asked.
    “I don’t know, happier?  More content?” I said trying to sound casual, peeling a potato.
    “No,” she drawled, “No more than usual.”
    I nodded and decided to keep the information of him being more demonstrative to myself.  No need to sound off any alarms.  No one in the group could keep a secret.  Instead, we continued to discuss his new short haircut.  
    Weeks later, I was home alone and relishing it.  The peanut gallery tended to meet at my place because it was big, had a pool and I cooked.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, they are like family.  I love the sounds of them rummaging through my fridge and laughing in my living room.  However, every now and again, just like family, they do get on my last, damn nerve and I need some alone time.  
    I’d rented a hand full of chick flicks, and bought enough junk food and ice cream to keep me content. I posted myself up on my extra large, extra cozy couch in my favorite comfy jammies, (of the fleece Tinkerbell variety) and was ready for an evening of trivial pursuits.
    I was just putting on the second movie when my doorbell rang.  I debated ignoring it and claiming I fell asleep, when it rang again.  I braced myself, and when I got to the door, still not sure I would answer it, looked through the peephole.  There stood John, shuffling on the other side.  I stepped back as my mind raced.  I looked down at my silly pajamas and tried to look up to see the palm tree ponytail that was my hairstyle for the evening, and decided there was no help and no use.  
    “I hear you breathing,” came from the other side of the door.
    “I’m not breathing.”  I said back.
    “Are you gonna open the door?”
    “Not sure.”  I looked at my jammies again.
    “Are you kidding me with this?  Like I haven’t seen you in your Tink jammies before.”
    “How did you…when have you ever?” I stuttered flinging the door open.
    John stood beaming at me.  “Ok I lied, I’ve only ever seen them in your laundry basket.”
    “How did you know I was wearing them?”
    “Stay off Facebook and Twitter.”  He said walking past me into the house.
    I did a mental “Doh!” and locked the door behind him.  “Well then I guess you chose to ignore the part where I said I was happy to spend the evening alone.”
    “I didn’t think you meant me.” He said trying to charm me.  It worked.
    I rolled my eyes and headed back to the couch.  I was intercepted and folded into a hug.  Involuntarily I hugged him back.  “You don’t mind if I stay do you?”
    “No.” I said softly.  I started pull back, but John rested his head on mine and made no move to let me go.  Who am I to argue?  I settled into his embrace and enjoyed the moment.
    Too soon for my liking, John released the hug, and walked with me over to the couch and sat.
    “What are we watching?” he asked.
    I held up the DVD case of a vampire movie.  
It was his turn to roll his eyes.
“My night, my movies.”
“True, true.”
I held up the remote to start the movie and stopped.  Looking over at him, he met my gaze.  I put down the remote and squared myself to face him.  “You know I don’t like to nose around in your business but,”
“But you’re going to?” he cut me off smiling.
“Yes.”
He scooted himself closer and took my hands, “You were always welcome to nose around in my business.”
My heart skipped a beat and I smiled, “Thanks.”
“So what do you want to know?”
I took a few seconds to formulate my thoughts then said, “You seem different lately.”
“How so?”
“Well, I’m not sure.  Happier maybe?”
His face softened, “Actually, I am.”
“Yeah?  What happened?”
“Nothing really happened.  I just,” he paused, “spent some time evaluating my life, making decisions about what I want.”
Nodding I said, “Then you’ve made some choices, found some peace?”
“Yeah, I have.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?  You don’t have to of course.”  I added quickly.
This time he took a moment to formulate his thoughts.  He sat back against the couch and stared off into the room. I sat perfectly still for fear he would snap out of his reflections and decide not to tell me.  He rolled his head over to look at me. Saying nothing, he propped himself back up and faced me.
“We’ve been friends a long time.”
I nodded.
“There have been precious few people who have been there for me.  You’re one of them.  I want you to know, I was paying attention.”
My heart touched, I nodded again.
Reaching over he took one of my hands.  “We’ve been dancing around this for years.” He grinned.
“What?” I asked, now lost.
“You and me.”
My heart stopped and had to will it to start again before asking, “What do you mean?”
“All the banter and flirting, the attraction.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I opted to say nothing.
“Am I wrong?”
I shook my head once.  “Why now?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
He moved closer, probably relived I wasn’t gonna shoot him down and step on him like a bug.  “We have bad timing.  Either I was seeing someone or you were.  Now we’re both free…you are free, right?”
“Yes.” I confirmed trying to stifle a giggle.
“Free, but you’re never alone.”
I laughed, “No, hardly ever.”
“Makes it hard for a guy to get some one on one time.  All those other team members getting play time.”
“Sports references, really?” I said teasing.
“Not my fault.  I was listening to the radio.”
    “Sports?”
“No.  It was an 80’s station.  This song came on that reminded me of us.”
“You were listening to an 80’s station?  Don’t let that get out.  The rock police will come take away your membership card.”
“I try to be romantic and tell you about a song that reminds me of us, and you go there?”
“I’m nervous.  I can’t help it.  It’s like a nervous tic.”
A momentary look of astonishment crossed his face.
“What was the song?”
He said nothing and continued to look at me, wondering what he was getting himself into no doubt.
“I’m sorry.” I said covering the hand that held mine. “What was the song?”
His face softened with a note of embarrassment.  “Hall and Oats.”
I blinked at him surprised, “Really?”
“Yes,” he said cautiously.
“I love Hall and Oats.”
“Do you?”
“Check my iPod.” I dared him.  “Song?”
“One on One.”
I gasped.  “I love that song!  I dedicated it to a boy I had a crush on in Jr. High School!”
“Did it work?”
“No.”
“His loss.”  His other hand reached up and gently rested on the side of my cheek.
“Damn straight.” I said softly.
“So, you’re game?”
I smiled at the song/sports reference, “What do we tell the Scooby gang?”
“Well, does this feel right?”
I nodded.
“Then nothing and no one else matters.”
    Again, I nodded.
    “Let’s watch that movie.”  He said pulling me into a cuddling position on the couch.
    After the movie, John got up and stretched.  I watched his long, lean body elongate and his t-shirt, which is always thank the deities too short, rise above his low-rise jeans revealing a strip of skin I had an overwhelming urge to lick. He dropped his hands to his sides and hooked his thumbs in his jean pockets.  “It’s late I should get going.”
    “Oh, OK.” I stood and followed him to my front door trying to hide the flush I knew must have been in my cheeks.  
    We stood looking at each other in that oh so awkward moment that always seems to happens at the end of a date.  I was suddenly, very aware I was in my pajamas and started to fidget.
    Smiling, John stepped to me and slipped his arms around my waist pulling me to rest against all that sinewy muscle I loved to surreptitiously fondle.  I rested my hands on his chest and breathed in his scent.
    “You look really cute in those.” He complimented flirtatiously.
    My face reddened and I hid in his chest, accidentally waving my palm tree ponytail in his face.  He moved back a bit chuckling and I looked up apologetically.  His hands went to my hair and he removed the band and ran his fingers through it until it rested around my face and shoulders.  
    John leaned down and gave me a gentle kiss, moved away a whisper and gave me a less gentle kiss, which I returned it with gusto.  We were in fact kissing so deeply and feverishly that all sense of propriety had vanished and our hands were exploring places that should be saved for a much later date…at least a third but more likely fourth date.  Next thing I knew, John had scooped me up in his arms and began to walk towards my bedroom.
    “Johnny, wait.” I said breathlessly.
    He stopped in his tracks, “What?”
    “I don’t know, this is fast, isn’t it soon to be doing this?  I mean, I’m really not that kind of girl.”
    “You are now.”
    “I’m OK with that.”  I managed to say before he planted another searing kiss on me and continued on to my bedroom.  
    Normally, I’m a romantic.  My nature is to go-slow, and savor every moment and touch.  Not tonight.  All I could think about was my need.  10 years of need!  I needed to be with him.  I needed him to be inside me.  And I needed it now!  
Tumbling onto the bed, our clothing magically disappeared.  I made a mental note to take some time later to explore and admire the work of art that is his body.  If what my hands felt looked half as good, Woot and Wooohoo!
Placing my wrists above my head, his fingers glided down my arms tantalizing and teasing.  His fingers momentarily rested on my body were his mouth and tongue seemed to be savoring my taste.  I tell you, give me a man with years of experience over some young buck any day!
I lost myself in the delicious feelings his mouth created; teeth gently nipping at my increasingly sensitive skin, then soothed by his tongue and lips. My body rose to meet every skilled touch and when I tried to perform the same pleasures on him, he stopped me, “Not yet,” he whispered, “My turn.”  I relaxed back on the bed and luxuriated in his attentions.
When I could take no more, and when I thought I might lose my mind from all the sensations I made my needs known, “Please,” I begged thankful he didn’t make me articulate what I was begging for.  
John looked up at me, his expression predatory.  He moved back up my body and kissed like a starving man eating a long since missed meal.  I wrapped myself around him as he slid inside my body.  The act not only filled me physically but emotionally.  Nothing had felt so right, and the realization I was getting every thing I had wanted for years filled my heart as nothing and no one ever had.  
His hips moved in an expert rhythm for what my body needed, I encouraged him along, both physically and vocally, and his considerable skill quickly had me crying out in pleasure.  
When my head had cleared some, I opened my eyes to find John watching me, hungrily.
“Wow,” I breathed.
He smiled.
“Did you…”
“Not yet.” He smiled seductively.
“Why?  Was I not…”
He cut me off with a kiss.  “I want to watch you cum again.”
I reached up and touched his face, “That’s sweet but I’ve never been able to be a multiple kind of girl.”
“Mmhmm.” He said kissing me again, his hips slowly moving him in and out of me.
I relaxed and let him work his magic again, and what do you know, it was working.  I began to meet every thrust and begged him not to stop.  With out missing a beat, he picked me up so we were both sitting upright, with me on top.  He lifted my hips instructing me to ride him.  I was glad to oblige.  Happily bouncing my way to a decadent second orgasm, he took my face in his hands.  I stopped to look at him, and he encouraged me with his hips to keep going, so I did although a bit slower so I could focus on his words.
“I want to cum with you.” He growled.
“Yes!” I nodded emphatically.
“Don’t close your eyes.  Look at me when you cum, I want to look you in the eyes.”
I nodded, not quite knowing how I would accomplish that but damn it I would try.
Picking up the pace, I fucked him with all that I was.  I rode and rode; kissing him until I was so close, I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the impending explosion.  He took hold of my face and our eyes met.  I cried out as the first waves of the strongest orgasm I’d ever had hit, and managed to hold his gaze.  John came just after I did, and every bit as loudly.  When we had caught our breath somewhat, he gently laid us back down on the bed and pulled me to him.
I admit to never knowing what to say after sex.  Everything seems scripted or trite.  “Gee that was great!” or “Way to go!!” Followed by a high five.  On this occasion, I especially didn’t know what to say to John.  It was a strange and wonderful place to be in and I didn’t want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing.  So, once again, I opted for silence and instead let my fingers explore his chest while his caressed my arms.  I was enjoying the moment when John started to chuckle.  
“What?” I asked looking up at him.
“ ’I’m OK with that.’ ” He said repeating my earlier words, laughing just this side of hysterics.  He wiped tears from his cheeks and looked down at me.  “You’re too much.”
I made an exasperated noise and turned over.  He immediately followed wrapping me up in him.  “It was sexy.  You were caught up in the moment, how’s that not a compliment?”  He said kissing my neck and shoulder.
I turned to look at him, “You mock me.” I said narrowing my eyes.
“Yes.  Frequently.  But not now.” He smiled.
I finished turning over and rested on my back looking up at him.  I couldn’t help myself.  I reached up and stroked his face.  “So, did the song give you the impetus to come over tonight and make your feeling known?”
“I was gonna do it eventually, it just gave me a nudge.”
    “Guess I’m gonna have to send them a thank you note.”
    “Me too.” He said giving me a kiss.