Valentine

Please review let me know what you think.

We both lay hand in hand 

Wishing and hoping this torture will end

Blood soaks the sheets as life slips away 

Kissing to keep the feeling alive

Moving closer to keep warm

Saying if we get out we will be stronger

Sounds of our fate seem to be getting closer

For our love will never be torn

Inch by Inch we scream in fear

When we will get out of here?

On my face a single tear

For you my love and  I will die here

Our killer comes closer with every breath

We brace ourselves for the threat as hand.

This is a life that we had never planned

Is this the end I fear with the love that I hold dear?

Slashing and breaking of bones 

Couldn't hide our freaky moans.

As he hides us under heavy stones,

While he laughs in many tones.

For this day we had not planned

A special day was at hand

I was to ask a question for all time

Will you be my Valentine?

Reviews

[Angelic_Dreamer]

Romantic idea.This is also a really easy piece to write about since its not hard to brainstorm stuff related to valentine's day.I like it,and keep up the good work!:)

[♥ Kinnixk]

Wow. I love the dark twist you put on V-day. Nice job, you're really talented :)

[Sophie]

Mind = Blown!
Takes a whole new look on Valentine's Day. The first verse is very dramatic, I liked it! Great job!!!

[Yawatta Hosby]

I LOVE the poem. I like that its dark--perfect contrast for Valentine's Day (a holiday about lovey dovey, romantic stuff). It starts getting very intense when the line says "For you my love and I will die here" then from there I can just picture the menacing look on the killer's face while he tortures the couple. Great job!!!

[Kat]

Valentine's day seems to bring out the best and the worst in people, There are such spooky stories out there, but thankfully more lovely ones.
Interesting!

[Coyote Poetry]

Those Valentines tales can be scary. I like the way you expressed the situation and the desire of this poem. A nice ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Wolf's Dark Song]

A very dark, chilling intense poem. It's powerful and very gripping. I think you did a great job on this dark and tragic tale of a love never to be.

[Canicus]

Wow, I love this. It's kind of creepy and full of love at the same time. I like this stanza the best:

Our killer comes closer with every breath
We brace ourselves for the threat as hand.
This is a life that we had never planned
Is this the end I fear with the love that I hold dear?

: wonderful write, keep it up