love me to death.

what your about to read will not impress you.

i feel the time we seek is so precious that we hold on too the minutes like straws between the fingers of a torn apart love, the feeling of complete loneliness, standing there beside you taunting you with the freedom ahead and the obstacle of dodging the negative aspects of our reality to the smallest behavior awareness too the overwhelming cost that your perception of life will pay when the toll booth makes its way down your path and you gave your last dime to the beggar because belief in the unknown is sweetened by good deeds.the sun is shinning today and the blood of thousands of men are laid bare too the thought that i was once a christian, i am now saved from the destructive nature of the ones that chased me down.eternal freedom is free and mine.

Reviews

[Admiral Kirk]

This is such a nice poem, I don't see why you're putting yourself down about it... Your imagery is fantastic, word choice is phenomenal. Fix a few spelling mistakes and grammatical errors and you're good to go.

I like how you convey the feeling of loneliness; taunting is exactly what it is. Time is so precious, as is love and freedom. You convey so much with so little, it's almost difficult to describe.

"perception of life will pay when the toll booth makes its way down your path and you gave your last dime to the beggar" is a tad confusing, though I think I see what it means... Is the beggar the toll booth? And what is the toll booth? Is it just symbolic of anything you have to grieve about, and is your 'last dime' your last bit of energy? And the 'perception of life' bit I take as meaning whether you're an optimist or a pessimist, in which case it would pay off to be an optimist (if that's what you mean) when that beggar comes around to steal your energy.

"belief in the unknown is sweetened by good deeds"... Does that have to do with the belief in Heaven, and how the good you do supposedly brings you closer to the 'better place'? That would explain the bit about being Christian at the end there. Have you lost faith in Christianity, is that it? This poem is so complex, it's difficult to examine.

"the sun is shinning today and the blood of thousands of men are laid". Is this sort of like saying "the world is happy, yet grieving for this immense loss"? If it is, the word 'but' would have worked better as a transition... But I don't know. Like I said, hard to crack. That's a sign of good writing.

This is just kind of how I interpreted it; thank you for giving me something to think about. I love your poem.