Dahling so wonderful mwah!

Dahling so wonderful mwah!

A Story by Nigel Newman
"

The director of a topical chat show must have an easy life ....

"
"To 3 in 5, 4 … 1 - Switch!  Back to 1 now! Christ will that f***ing egotistic narcissistic idiot shut up!  He’s had 5 minutes and nobody’s interested in his f***ing film anyway. He's got a plastic face - can't people see through him?  A plastic face!  Let the starlet have a go.  There's probably a few who ... but I'll wager he's been on more casting couches than her ... until he melted -- LET HER SPEAK YOU SELF CENTRED PIECE OF---

--S**t! How long since the audience laughed?? Must be at least..., oh Christ more than a minute! Someone tell Mein Host to make a funny quip for goodness sake! He keeps thinking this is a chat show. Well you’re so misguided there my dear love.  Plugs dahling! Plugs and more plugs. Nobody wants life histories on this show - go to that American woman for those.

Oh COME ON are they bloody dead in this audience??? Laugh for God’s sake - she’s telling a mildly amusing anecdote. Christ that idiot’s interrupted again - SHUT HIM THE F*** UP!!.  I don’t care if he’s nominated for an Oscar - SHUT HIM UP!!!

Back to 4 in 3, 2, 1 - over. Christ almighty there must be easier ways .... "

...  ...  ...  ... 


"Wonderful show dahling! Mmmwwaaahhh! You had them in the palm of your hands.  Lots of laughs.  Palm of your hands. What? Well maybe just a teensie bit too earnest and in depth for primetime … Him? Perhaps a little less, and more of her would … Of COURSE you have to to dahling - it’s all about human interest.  Empathy dahling, empathy.

But a few more laughs wouldn’t hurt ..."


© 2017 Nigel Newman



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Reviews

Ha! I can hear and see this happening! Hypocritical twit and narcissistic host in a gauche face-off...Great monologue and switch at the end! "A few more laughs wouldn't hurt..." Indeed!

Posted 4 Months Ago


Nigel Newman

1 Week Ago

Hi Annette. Sorry to miss your feedback. I could excuse myself and say we've had a long holiday ..... read more
Annette Pisano Higley

1 Week Ago

NP Nigel. Enjoyed the story.
Laughed out loud. That kind of internal dialogue buys you shares in the makers of Maalox or Tums, dahling.

Wonderful and real. Thanks for a great read.

Posted 5 Months Ago


Nigel Newman

5 Months Ago

Thanks Carol!
Clever internal thought of someone who must placate to do there job. I think the difference between words spoken could be better deliniated, both in terms of the format of the piece (think quotation marks or indentation) and perhaps even the language used. Is the person really thinking 'dahling' along with all that cursing? Maybe, but it's just a thought.

It's amusing, yet dynamic for such a short piece.

Posted 5 Months Ago


Nigel Newman

5 Months Ago

Thanks Rojas. Maybe " at the start and " again at the very end. The director is in the control room.. read more
Rojas

5 Months Ago

Ah, I read the first as internal dialogue, the end as actual feedback to the on air talent and the f.. read more
Nigel Newman

5 Months Ago

I can see why the last line could be seen as being delivered almost while walking away from each oth.. read more
nice story, brilliant... keep on writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


Nigel Newman

5 Months Ago

Many thanks. Appreciated.

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Added on May 21, 2017
Last Updated on June 14, 2017

Author

Nigel Newman
Nigel Newman

Bristol, United Kingdom



About
I used to have a training role that often involved creating imaginative case study exercises. I've been writing lyrics for most of my amateur band's songs for several years. I will consider any frie.. more..

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