A Day At The Shooting Range With Charles Bukowski

 

It was a beautiful sunny day. Gun shots rang out through the mountain tops and there he stood my hero. He took a sip from a warm beer can as the overspill dripped down his beard and onto his sweaty shirt that rose above his sun burnt belly. His hair slicked back and his eyes squinted through the sunlight. It was truly amazing what a beautiful creature god could create after obviously throwing together whatever leftovers he had available.

“Great day isn’t it Chuck?”

“It’s a s****y day. I’ve never understood what people find in this nature jazz. It’s so boring and the air. Jesus! It’s too damn fresh! I miss L.A. Give me the smog baby.” He replied loading a handful of fresh shells.

“Pull!” The skeet shot into the air as he pulled the shotgun to his shoulder and took aim.

“This is for the damn post office!” The skeet exploded and the dust filled the air.

“This is for the damn four horse! That f*****g four horse and all my money!” The second skeet exploded and he continued. “For Frances! And Linda, that cheating w***e!”

A small group had begun gathering as he settled down to take another drink. Finishing off the can he threw it to the ground reached in the ice chest and retrieved a fresh one. He looked like a hostile creature, a caged animal eyeing the crowd. He pulled the gun into the air while taking a drink.

“One of you fuckers wanna go?” The crowd quickly dispersed.

“Jesus man, take it easy. Don’t make such a scene.” I sat down on the bench beside him and grabbed a beer from the chest.

“That’s your problem kid. You got no spine. I’ve read your writing, nothing but junkies and retards chasing the sun with nets. You’ve never lost anything have you? That’s what makes a good writer, loss. You need the pain, the heartbreak.”

“You can write about love without the heartbreak.” I took a drink and wiped my mouth on my shirt.

“Yeah, but it’s boring. Nobody wants to hear that. People want to hear how s****y life is, the real deal. Let me tell you something about love kid. Love is like a good beer s**t. You spend all this time working on it. You have your ups and downs, pain and pleasure. Then when you’re done you step back and admire it. You’ve put all this time into creating something beautiful and you almost feel guilty flushing it but it’s inevitable.”

He continued rambling on about beer s***s and how cheap smokes were on the drive through the mountains while my eyes wandered across the hilltops. Sweat ran from my head down my neck past my collar and collected beneath my polo as I sat now focused back on my enlightening companion.

“You got a hero kid?”

“Kurt Vonnegut.”

“Kurt Vonnegut was a schmuck. Who did he think he was with that hair? Did he think he was the f*****g Einstein of the literary world? And did you see those paintings? I bought a painting off Kurt one time just to hang in my bathroom so I could piss on it before every s**t. Everybody thinks they’re an artist.”

“Well who is a hero Chuck?”

“That’s the problem kid. They’re all dead. There isn’t any Jesse James left. They’ve all been replaced by Paris Hilton. Society would rather worship people who do absolutely nothing. Hell I don’t know why people like me. All I do is drink and cuss over a type writer.”

I sat pondering for a moment over Chuck’s logic. All heroes are dead. You can’t be a true writer without loss or heartache. Love is like a good beer s**t. Still thinking I lifted the shotgun to my lap while he stood to grab another beer from the ice chest. As he turned I got up from the bench and brought the gun to my shoulder aiming it at his back. He opened the fresh beer and turned to look at me. Gun now aimed at his gut, he took a deep gulp whipped his mouth with his hand and grinned before I unloaded the cartridge in his stomach. I lowered the gun and sat back down. As I sat there sipping my beer I couldn’t help but think, all my heroes were all now finally dead and I’ve had my loss. I’m going to be one of the greats. Bukowski would be proud.

Reviews

[Crowley]

Really cool scenario "love is a good beer s**t" is so something I could hear Dennis Hopper saying in the mini movie for this. Good writing, and good dialogue. May have liked it more if it were a bit longer so that I could get to know CB a little more as someone who doen't know much about him. Thanks, good read.

[Carl]

Again enjoyed this peice of work from you. Liked the setting "lets go a hunting boy and as i shoot i'll shre regrets and issues i have. Eg This one is for the Post Office. Like the dialouge to its strong. Liked the bit about writers needing loss to make them great writers. The peice about Paris Hilton and peole likeing people who do nothing made me smile. But there seems to be something about whiskey smokes and a typewriter that connects with a generation. No omore hereos anymore, Morrison, Cobain , Monroe , Marley Hendrix if all the hereos are dead them maybe it's time to create some new ones. liked the irony at the end of the peice "Im going to be one of the greats " I hope you are .... Good work here strong solid and a great read.

[Clarisse Nanoit]

oh, and I forgot to say thanks to Kristin Brecoe for sharing this piece with me. =)

[Clarisse Nanoit]

I'm becoming quite the Bukowski fan, and I think you did an AMAZING job coming up with things he would say. This seems like him alright. I love it. Just overall well-written and I love it. The beer s**t was amazing. hahahaha. I was rolling. I would like to see this in an anothology or compilation. Maybe a tribute to modern greats? Very cool. I love it.
KH

[JustKeith]

Awesome! I love the dialogue!

[Kristin Brecoe]

Bravo. That was a great piece. It was imagery was awesome. the only thing i'd suggest is nitpicky. but you are missing commas. who is your hero [,] chuck.

the ending wasnt expected, which i think makes a piece so much better to read. great character development. the same goes for the plot.

[John McGrael]

wow, this is f*****g awesome

i freaking love this kinda stuff

great wisdom too, "you can't write without the heartbreak"... i'd say thats true, probably every writer on here has gone through stuff that has broken their heart, but given them stuff to write about

thanks for writing this xD, i throughly enjoyed it

[Kelsey Desmond]

Great hook in this work. Well done with the writing, also.

[Rochelle Tyler]

I really enjoy your dialogue! Nice ending of course, witty and crude....I enjoyed it :)

[Just Plain Me]

I love the irony of this story...it made me laugh honestly...I hope thats not a bad thing. o.O
Anywho, I loved it. lol

[Jon Gary Frost]

loved this story. would like to see a sequel of this with the "ghost" of CB coming back to annoy the s**t out of your protagonist. good stuff!!!!