My Dead Mother

A twisted poem about a man trying to cope with the death of his mother.

Tick Tock Tick Tock
Silence...
Footsteps running down the hall
Think I hear my mother call
That's wrong, completely wrong
Been thinking about her all day long
Her funeral was just yesterday
But her presence will not go away
I smell her perfume & hear her sing
I even remember her wedding ring
But that's all gone, it's in the past
How long will this darkness last
Down the hall I hear a cry
One to identify my mother by
I see her face in the mirror
Slowly her features are getting clearer
I know her touch there is no other
Now I'm in the arms of my dead mother

Reviews

[Goodbyeguilt]

For f***s sakes dude you make my writing look positively sunny. I am practically in love with the dark theme you seem to have adopted. The quick paced rhyme scheme keeps your audience absorbed and the blas� attitude adds a distinctly amusing tone. Thanks for the read. Keep the darkness coming please!

GBG

[IIx Jaded x II]

A very good write. It seems to have a life of its own. Although I haven't lost my mother, it still speaks to me. I'll be looking out for more like this :)

[Cassandra]

WOW. another great write. More vivid words.. feelings and a scene that plays in my head like a movie. It really is hard to let go. You depicted it quite well.

[Queen of the Damned]

Amazing. I really love this. It screams the expression of pain, the longing for the loved one, the surrealness of the days following the funeral of someone who was always there. Like your waiting for them to walk back in the door. A sick joke it seems and people who have never experieced it have NO IDEA how it feels. I know the feeling, lived it. It gets better, but it never goes away. I look forward to reading more of your work.

[Sapphire Balasquez]

woah... O.O i really like that. it's very mysterious! I love it and good job with the rhyming and the rhythm, it's quite amazing. I would say you could make it a little longer even, T_ Tmostly cuz I love it so much the way you wrote it. You could also add a few more details to draw out sitting in the house longing for the mother until she appears, it would make the suspense even greater. ^^ good job!!