A moment of Truth

A moment of Truth

A Poem by Norbanus
"

My response to MK's 'Walk in Piano'

"
Sleep-drugged and dull, I watched the distance branch,
The slow propelling of a nowhere bug.
Forever grinding as I take a chance,
on seeing one more woolly take a slug.

I rise, accustomed to my daily ache,
(but knowing mine is nothing to his strife).
The robin hops up close prepared to take
the caterpillar’s short and hapless life.

One moment and that nature’s scene is gone,
Its light a harsh reality of truth.
I know I’m not the course and jagged one.
I pick the pigs remains out of my tooth.

Just then, the smell of flowers from the plain,
drifts in and grab my thoughts fully away.
No further minding of that larva’s pain,
just tracing trophies of my day at play. 

Some sadness for the butterfly I lost
but not a moment more on nature’s cost

© 2017 Norbanus



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Reviews

You truly have a masterful knack of iambs and pentametre. This is fantastic!! I would switch that "ready to take" to "prepared to take" so the metre is salvaged, but other than that, simply brilliant! Well done!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Norbanus

1 Year Ago

Thanks for taking the time to dig through this for me, emi. I appreciate your suggestion, and I'll r.. read more
Norbanus

1 Year Ago

Ah! I finally figured it out. The thing I missed was the natural stress on the word 'ready' as oppos.. read more
emipoemi

1 Year Ago

That's what I'm here for.
This makes me think of cowboy poetry, the toughened mind of one who has faced the grit of life, with sweat upon his brow, and the sun beating on his back. Observant, yes. Weak, never.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Norbanus

1 Year Ago

This poet from the stars lays down a theme,
and I know that I’ve hit on something grand.) .. read more
lot going on in this - playful and sad with truth. strong imagery and symbolism. such a philosophical deepness. every line a gem. love the references to nature and that hard-hitting ending ...

Posted 1 Year Ago


It amazes me what a soul can see in a moment. So often we flow through life as if caught in a current, and our eyes our numb to the world around us. Here in this vivid moment nature spoke through your inspiration, through beauty and pain, and now the scene forever lives in all of us.

Posted 1 Year Ago


I haven't read MK's poem, but I imagine your poem is a 'reality check' on nature. We all tend to sing lyrical about the wonders and beauty of nature, and you point out a bit of 'harsh reality', which is very sobering. Your poem itself is well structured, 10 syllables per line and natural-sounding rhymes. The ending couplet has a 'universal' adage. I was pleased that 'the smell of the flowers' drifted in. A poem very well done, and I enjoyed reading it.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Norbanus

1 Year Ago

Thank you for your delightfully generous review, Auntie. I appreciate it very much.

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Added on November 13, 2017
Last Updated on November 30, 2017

Author

Norbanus
Norbanus

About
Norbanus is the leader of the Anus Clan, and has consumed his Biblically allocated three score and ten. He is a hero of all the ages, having witnessed the birth of planets, the drowning of the eart.. more..

Writing
Safe Earth Safe Earth

A Poem by Norbanus



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