Her Greatest Regret, When She Stopped Counting.

Submission for "Regret".

I promised myself I wouldn't.

I promised my daughter it would never happen again.

That she would never see mommy "sick."

Never see mommy confused.

But I lied.

To her, and myself.

I took the drink.

One class of chardonnay, what could it do?

One would not do anything.

But two?

Nah.

I took a second.

I poured it high.

And the third.

And the fourth. 

I felt dizzy.

I was speaking loud.

Singing.

On the way to Cape May!

Now she knows I'm not sober.

She pleads with me to stop.

Can we go home?

Please?

Can you put that down?

Mommy?

No more.

Please.

Please, mommy.

I think nothing is wrong.

I'm fine.

Mommy isn't sick.

Mommy is having fun.

Mommy is fine.

Mommy takes a fifth.

Mommy stops counting.

Mommy remembers nothing more.

But she does.

She sits on the floor of her friend's room, peering out the door.

Fetal position, hands wrapped around her knees.

Her pretty dress dirty from running around outside.

Trying to forget about what was inside.

But now she can't hide.

She hears mommy asking for her.

She sees her go by.

Mommy is being carried by her friends.

Someone screams.

She has no more tears left to cry.

The tears she lost are my greatest regret.

The sights she has had to see.

The songs she has heard sung.

Author's Note

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Reviews

[victoria]

wow this poem is really sad, it almost made me cry, to think about that little girl and her mom. the emotions in this poem totally spoke to me, and i loved it. great job :D

[Hippy]

very good i like it its sad but its a song that is sung so often

[Ian]

This poam really gave me a look of what happened your so used to seeing this happen the lies and the pain thought came with her drinking problem. It made me feel a part of you just watching the same thing that you don't want to see. I loved this poem.