Plague of a Woman-Girl

thoughts on an experience that squeezes my chest

The plastic canvas cushion left woven welts on my skin

and steam filled the room until I felt drugged and heavy.

His lips were always tense, like he was on the verge of whispering 

a secret 

I liked the idea that someone could love my words;

because I either need to be alone 

or held and rocked by someone who gives a damn.

But it's too late for me now. 

I know the sharp curve of his jaw against my collar bone,

and how my fingertips feel when they're pressed into his shoulders,

and that my skin smells like him for a few blissful hours

after I drive home alone. 

but now the air above me is clear and my hands are empty. 

Rejection is not worth the death of passion,

so I let another guide my spine in those familiar traditions, 

terror and honey in all the cliched ways. 

I told him to tame me gently, 

but instead 

he left a note on my windowsill 

that read:

I'm sorry, my dear.

you were not the one I loved most. 

Reviews

[Shy Joe]

Passion in overdrive. But, there is no cruise control. He stepped on the brake prematurely and slid past a two way even though her map was clear.

Oh well, he can doodle on the steamed up windows she left him. He will find them chilled of her lost art far to quick.

Raw and sensual, and she is left untamed. Her jungle will howl again. Great piece. Thanks for sharing.

[ohsograceful]

she was all freedom, windows wide and no seat belt. He stepped on the brake prematurely and her warm blood grew cold on the dashboard. Her crushed heart called for its return, and it cried for retribution. He remembered her with his hands, and she never forgot

[Josalynn Marie]

Well done, thank you for submitting it to my contest. Within the hour the winner will be announced. You're writing is very well done, and I really enjoyed the format you put your poem in. I can tell this poem means something to you, and I commemorate you for being willing enough to share it with the world. :)

[Aesthetic Trash]

This was absolutely incredible...

[ohsograceful]

thank you, I'm glad you liked it :)

[Pete]

key line -
Rejection is not worth the death of passion

sounds like there were always some doubts. he wants to drive with her a not-so-willing passenger until he slams on the brakes and sends her into a difficult skid. perhaps those skid marks are what draws the line between a woman and a girl. Plagues don't last forever. we live to love again ...

[ohsograceful]

exactly :)

[lessa (kenzie)]

wow, such a heartfelt write here, I felt a certain tugging in me while reading it. You write with passion.

[ohsograceful]

thank you so much :)

[Adam Adams]

very descriptive yet advanced. liked the way how sensuously it's penned down in these mesmerising words. u have well captured the shades of ur caramelized experiences in the ink of love. looking forward to reading your work!

[49k_jdys]

This is so passionate and emotional. Wonderful job!

[Nicholas Shea]

unfamiliar traditions... I love it!! Great piece! I'm looking forward to reading more.

[Gejodi]

Steamy!! Grammar.. He left a note..not sure what you refer to by It went out doing what it loved most. Content is good... passion for the sake of passion is no more than a primal urge.. isnt love more enduring?

[ohsograceful]

Ah, typing too fast. Yes it's supposed to say note. Love might be more enduring, but it's certainly not as interesting

[Gejodi]

yes but what went out doing what it loved? passion? And why cant love be passionate and therefore interesting. I would suppose for a novel passion forbidden or indiscreet would draw a lot of readers perhaps as a fantasy but in life passion could be no more than a brief fleeting encounter leaving behind a void after the urge is satisfied only to wait for the next encounter...just my 2 cents

[ohsograceful]

normally I would agree, but real love in this world is a rare thing, passion is a much more common denominator. Love is written so lofty most of the time, and I don't like to take the high ground. No one wants to spend all their time looking up, I'd much rather look around and write what I know, ya know what I mean?

[Gejodi]

I see your point. True or real love can be rare but if it is not worth the search why do so many seek it? I believe love should intensify passion making it so much greater is that not worth the search?

[ohsograceful]

I can't say whether the search is worth it or not, I think you can justify it either way. Such a love matched by passion is a fearsome concept for sure.