Christmas To me is.. being alive.

Christmas To me is.. being alive.

A Poem by Dawn

Christmas Day,  for me
was like any other day
for me.
Awful, abusive and nasty.

Drunk and vile parents
and a grandmother,
who,
was no better at times.
As she turned a blind eye
to all that went on.

As long as she was okay.
In her little world.
She was happy
 and content.

No real presents for me,
if lucky some colouring pens
and a colouring book
and maybe a bar of chocolate.
"If",
later on in the day.

As an away of an
apologie, for the way
they treated me all
year along.

To which is quite ironic
as I thought they had
no compassion or real
love for anyone. But
actually, I think it
was guilt.

Mentally abused,
sexually tormented and
raped. And I was blamed for
this and that.

If it rained, it was my f...king fault.
They were f....k.d up even
before I was born.

But,  here I am still.
They are long gone dead.

Had so much therapy.
I should write a book myself.

I know life is far from easy
for anyone. And what happened
to me is nothing. Compared
to some countries, in this
world. Where women and
kids are treated not much
better. And also it can happen
to men too.

I am grateful,  for still being alive.
And for being me now. It took a
long time to accept me, and my
life. I am not a bad person. Yes
I am f...ked up too. But I have
a good heart and a good soul.
And care about others no
matter what.

I think my past has made me
more empathetic, understanding
and I can relate to and know
what it's like to have a bad time
and dealing with it also.

But over time,  life does get better.
So I guess my Christmas Day is
every day to me. Good, bad or
indifferent. I am still alive.

The biggest gift anyone can have.
Not money or fancy jewels.

It's a life. And being alive.

No matter what.
That is a precious gift in general.
Even though I had times. In my lifetime
so far. I wish I was dead and cremated
when under a lot of stresses and anxiety.

But the reality is .. I want to be alive.

Thank you God & Mother Nature for
being in my corner at times.









© 2018 Dawn



My Review

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Reviews

You are so strong, I couldnt match you any day of the week. And I haven't had it easy either.

But I'm a bitter person. I couldn't match your struggle and if I did I promise I would come out something wretched. I just know.

Thank you for sharing and for giving me something to look up to.

So Merry Christmas, and remember tomorrow is always a New Year!

Posted 5 Days Ago


Dawn

5 Days Ago

Thank you for your kindness CryandBergron but I think you are being too hard on yourself, just give .. read more
CyranoDBergeron

5 Days Ago

Nope. I'm not like you. I know my nature. And to say so lessens you and others who have 'Endured'read more
Dawn

5 Days Ago

Can't help but me, who iam. Just my nature to be kind and considerate no matter what. :) regardless .. read more
You've obviously had a very bad time; I'm sorry.
But, bravely--optimistically--you've somehow managed to come to the right conclusion.
Ultimately, we should all revere life and be grateful for it.
May God heal, protect and bless you, Dawn.

Posted 5 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dawn

5 Days Ago

Exactly Frank, life is ultimately what you make of it. No matter what. We can just give up. Or dust .. read more

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2 Reviews
Added on December 6, 2018
Last Updated on December 6, 2018

Author

Dawn
Dawn

United Kingdom



Writing
False Beliefs False Beliefs

A Story by Dawn