The Alchoholic

My father was a heavy drinker,

As from back as I can remember

as a child. He always drank.

The type of guy who sat in front of the

tv box and had his cans of beer and

cigarettes.

And commanded the television set

like he was the conduct of an orchestra

close at hand.

Had would then frequently

visit the loo. Then into his bedroom,

he did stagger to top up on his secret whiskey

bottle hidden in said room.

Then eventually  he would come back

more inebriated from each new visit he did take.

When he was sober and before he started

suffering from the dreaded withdraw symptoms

the following day.

He would be quiet and reserved

 and was actually quite normal

and friendly.

But looked like the hell warmed up until

the jitters kicked in and started to upset

him.

Then he would need a top-up of

his hard stuff to calm his nerves down.

 Then the whole process of watching

he gets paralytic  once again

would happen.

The sad fact was he never went for his own

alcohol. It was always my poor mother.

No matter the time or day

she was told to go. And get.

And if she didn't. She was for it.

So of she would trot and go.

And I went with her

to make sure she was safe

a daft kid myself back then.

Eventually, she got

cervical cancer and even through that

she did her duty for him

regards so he could drink

and get drunk to appease him.

And keep him off her back.

Even in sickness and health.

Till eventually,

she could not cope any more.

And started to drink herself.

So two alcoholics in the same house.

You can image was no fun.

But I know I am not alone in this

experience of living with

alcoholic parents. 

As living through those times

was far from easy.

And that is not even talking

about the many forms of

abuse i saw and had to deal

with too.

Living with an alcoholic does

not just affect them it affects

the whole household

they live with.

I know to looking back now,

as I am older.

My father and mother

were far from happy.

And had their problems.

But the drinking

just compounded

those woes and made it

far worse in general.

They used the drink to

hide behind their troubles

and get a numb feeling

to cope with everything.

And in return, it killed

them both. Long run.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, using the remote like an orchestra conductor...i can picture this man vividly from your prosy description....
in stanza 15, did you mean "compounded"? it read like that to me.
alcohol is only a hiding place...but we have to come back out sooner or later.
j.

[Onlyme]

Thanks Jacob, and yes your where right. Thanks for the correction. And alchol you can only hide it for so long and then the truth will out. Dawn.

[Earthbound Angel]

I too know of this pain. The image you depict from the very beginning was truly my father. His favorite shows being MASH, Star Trek and game shows that he and my step-mother used to watch. Fortunately, my mother was not an alcoholic and left my father when I was 5. My three siblings and I struggled alone for many years with just my mum. But I think we were better for it. My father passed at age 56 after he had a stroke. So young. So much time wasted. Drunk...

[nessamokobocho]

Powerful. Nothing scares me more than irresponsible drinking. What is even scarier is knowing that there is nothing you can do but watch as the alcohol becomes what the breathe.

[Maxwell Ryder]

i like biographical prose poems. they are a window into the soul. sorry you had to suffer that. i feel most for your mother, though. that she had to be 'dutiful' to a tyrant, then got cancer as a reward for this. not wishing more bad upon your father, but the person who deserves the worse fate never seems to get it.

enjoyed it, Dawn.

[Mrudula Rani]

The picture you have painted here is hard to comprehend ( I know no alcoholics and no one drinks in our family) even as a child growing up in the midst of it all you seemed to grasp human psychology and have gentleness to wards their shortcomings. Dawn,Your lovely personality is a result of understanding human nature in all its complexities from as early as kid, I believe.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Hi dawn this poem resonated with me in so many ways you described it very well and I applaud you for writing it about your family life

[Onlyme]

Thank you Julie sorry you could relate to this though that is sad to hear. If you understand my meaning. hugs. Dawn.

[Ken Simm.]

I understand and empathise with this from personal experiece. I don't think I could describe it as well however. A raw but equally powerful write.

[Onlyme]

Thank you Ken, for understanding my outpouring, sorry to hear you could understand this from personal experience though. Dawn.

[Paul Bell]

As much as they go about drugs. Alcohol and smoking is still the big killer.
Got a feeling you don't drink at all.
But the picture you paint is tragic, one I know too well.
Drink to a certain degree breeds confidence. But in reality, it's a hidden confidence that brings only misery to everyone around the drinker.

[Onlyme]

Hi Paul, no iam not drinker. prefer food. LOL to be honest. That is my comforter.

[Paul Bell]

Partial to chunky kit kats myself.

[gram linski]

And sadly, dear Dawn, the alcohol is a communal, sharing, inherited type of thing, the drink drowns the pain, does not give answers, and devours all, without remorse, without recompense, sad and tender, and true,

[Onlyme]

What you say is so very true Gram. thanks for your thoughts. Dawn.

[Chris Shaw]

A tragic tale here Dawn. Your childhood must have been hell. I have seen it happen so many times. We have it with members of my own family too. It is an addiction, an illness and we have to keep reminding ourselves of that, even though it's difficult. The family really suffer as a result of it. Good to talk about these things though. Always best in the open instead of behind closed doors. Cathartic poetry.

Chris

[Onlyme]

Thanks Chris, I do agree talking about it helps heal old wounds that still hunt even to this day. bless you Chris. Dawn.And sorry to hear you having it also in your family too. It's so sad in this modern age how this can still happen and affect folk with all the education and advice that goes around nowadays.

[Chris Shaw]

Education makes no difference. Sometimes the most educated are the worse of the lot. So easy for the balance to be tipped and for the scales to be out of kilter.

Chris

[Onlyme]

God that is to true Chris.