Glow Then Blow

These were lyrics to a song I had started to write when I was 9.

When the candles glow,
She's smiling like there's no tomorrow.
But when the candles blow,
All they say is she's gone, she's gone.

The light, the flame,
Flickering away.
The wind, the breath,
Turning out the light.

Feel the happiness and warmth of the candle,
Turn into sorrows and bitter cold nights.
The light so bright that was white and pure,
Turn into smoke of black darkness and hatred.

It's when the candles glow,
Someone comes along and blows.
That her life blows away,
Waiting to be lit another day.

It's when the candles glow then blow (x3 fading)

Author's Note

This is from 4 years ago. There is no rhyme as it was a free verse. Obviously I never got around to finishing it.

Reviews

[Rhianne Ney]

But even though you weren't able to finish this, it was still a great poem and I applaud you for that. great job ~!

[minnie:)]

beautiful poem, very nicely written the words for it are perfect

[Talkless]

I can fill it,nice piece of writing

[unsavable_soul]

I love this, it is in so many ways everything art is. Your work is elegant at just the tip of the iceberg and then so much more upon viewing the whole of it's massive size. My only critique and mind you this is simply a personal view as the reader of what is your work.
I felt the theme of Glow Then Blow didn't give weight to the amazing strength of this piece. I like the concept that it creates I just might think it deserves thought. I think given the body of your work, you are more then capable of creating ( What I feel ) is a more cohesive impact statement, that while it flows as well as your current one might more clearly convey the idea. Of course this is an opinion. Which is to say it is not meant to take away from the true greatness in your art here.
I agree with your about statement based on this piece with one exception...
" You can do everything you set your mind to. " You clearly demonstrate that.
Thank you for this work of art.
I consider it a blessing to be friends with you.
Sincerely
Christopher

"If indeed history repeats itself then those who do the writing...
shape the future."
Unsavable_soul

[Sunny]

Nice

[Nightmare Catcher]

It's a nice poem.

[Carnation]

Thanks