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Felt

Felt

A Poem by MandarinOranges

I felt you leave

before your feet

crossed the uneven floor.

 

I felt the world end,

fall apart and shatter,

with the slamming of the door.

 

I felt my heart burn,

disintegrate to a pile of ash,

never to feel anything more.

 

I felt used, abused

nothing more to you

than just another score.

 

I felt, I felt...

oh what does it matter,

I don't know what I'm telling you for.

 

For I felt

the lack of your remorse

in every shred of me you tore.

© 2008 MandarinOranges


Author's Note

MandarinOranges
I dunno, just kind of whipped it together for the sake of writing something. Old memories haunting me, I suppose. Kind of clich'e, I know..but whatever. What do you all think?

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Featured Review

I think some might have thought it cliche if not for that last stanza. The lack of remorse in the actions creates such a different level of pain. One might generally picture them moping off while saying they are sorry. Yeah, they are still leaving and it sucks fermented gerbil testes; but here we have the sociopathic offerings of a whatever. There is none of the confusion of they did not mean it, they just have issues, or any of that - there is no means to apologize for them... they just did not care.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I think some might have thought it cliche if not for that last stanza. The lack of remorse in the actions creates such a different level of pain. One might generally picture them moping off while saying they are sorry. Yeah, they are still leaving and it sucks fermented gerbil testes; but here we have the sociopathic offerings of a whatever. There is none of the confusion of they did not mean it, they just have issues, or any of that - there is no means to apologize for them... they just did not care.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the progressive way you describe the hearth brake.
Nice fonts.

A.M.


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love how its written getting smaller font as you go. Like crawling back into yourself. Kinda hit home with what Im feeling lately. I like the rhyming end of each stanza also. I like this one.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like it. Good job :D

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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170 Views
4 Reviews
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Added on July 18, 2008
Last Updated on July 18, 2008

Author

MandarinOranges
MandarinOranges

Weston,, WI



About
Buried at PhotoCasket Dark Comments & Graphics A friend once told me that life is what you make it. Very cliche I know, but is it really true? I don't know. I don't know an.. more..

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