Savior

It's a cycle that continues on.

"You don't love me!"

He screamed just like before

"I love you!"

I wail as he heads for the door

'Then what were you doing

Out there in the rain

At first I was mistaken

And just thought you were insane

But now I realize

You were never the same

Not since you left

And not since he came."

His glare held fire

As he knocked me aside

I grabbed onto his leg

But he kicked me off in a stride

With my fresh bruises burning

I jumped in front of the door

"I love you not him!"

But he wasn’t listening anymore

He spat as he left

It hit the bump on my head

I curled up in a ball

And wished I was dead

Then the door reopened

And Savior came in

He took my hand

And relit my fire wihting

"He did this to you?"

Savior smoothed my face with his thumb

I nodded shakily

My emotions gone numb

"Baby, baby"

He curled up around me as I sobbed

My bloody tears rained down

As my battered body throbbed

"Savior?" I whimpered

And he looked into my eyes

That honey warm smile

Took me away from his lies

"Shush, you're safe now"

"But what about the morning?

He'll come back with a sorry and kiss

Then turn with no warning.:

"Come with me baby,

Into the skies

You were born there you know

Not here with these lies"

I looked around the room

And thought of what he'd done wrong

I looked into Savior's eyes

And thought only of his song

"Okay." I whispered,

"I'll come with you now.

Just take me away

Before I wake up somehow."

So Savior picked me up in his arms

And carried me out in the night

I smiled as his face

Was lit with firelight

"You foolish girl."

We were away from civilization

I gasped in sudden fear

We were now in his nation

"You thought you were special."

He pulled out a knife

It slashed in the darkness

cutting my strife.

"I'm no Savior

I'm only destruction

I'm the same person of him

The same false reproduction."

As realization struck

I pulled out my own knife and cried

But as he stabbed me I turned

And we both simply died.

 

Reviews

[UfoAuthor]

"... tell me if you think that the 'savior' and the 'bad guy' are
a) different people
b) her fictitional creation
c) the same person
d) other-- please specify"

While it is possible that one may learn, after a fashion, of this type of behavior/relationship by indirect assimilation; e.g., books, movies, TV, observing others, it is my "guess" that some of this is first-hand knowledge and/or experience. There is sufficient occlusion of reality, usually inversely proportional to first-person context, that it leads the rational mind to select a probabilistic response. That is, they are at once the same entity and a fictional creation meant to express an unresolved conflict; perhaps in the hope of attaining some resolution or insight.

So, what is the truth of it? Can it be told?

[Owlgirl]

The truth is. . . you can truly write a great review :) Thank you for your lovely response. This one was a question of pure cat-killing curiosity and your answer was indeed amazing.

[UfoAuthor]

Elusive... as anticipated; and in keeping with the tone of the piece. ;-)

[Rhea]

I think this was great.. Awesome rhyme scheme, good content! :) Well done!

[SmileBig :)]

A good and meaningful piece with a twist...well written. However, I notice how people don't give you constructive criticism, on any of your work I checked out really. Maybe a few. So I thought I'd give you some advice. Poet to poet. I feel the wOrds don't flow as well as they could and I tripped on the words a few times. Maybe it's a bit wordy. Maybe work on making your verses a bit shorter? I've noticed that for a lot of your poems, but I have also noticed that you have much talent, and you put raw emotion into your poetry, making it relatable :) keep writing! - missy

[Newspaper Skeleton]

Hmmm. Very interesting piece.

[Boy of the red]

This is amazing. The twist in it shocked me. Please read my story the raven. It is kind of like this. Great job.

[xxxrawr_friendxxx]

It was sad, but great! :D

[Mirabella]

Well.. It's sad. But it is well written. When the saviour comes in, you picture a happy ending, but then he ends up being the opposite of a saviour. It's a good tecnique.
xx

[CrimsonBlaze]

I saw a review and it mentioned a twist and I was like "Crap, I need to see this."
And my, was that a freaking twist! It left me stunned and I loved the rhyming scheme and how it flowed so well. Through each line, it got even more interesting and I love how it builds up till the end where it ends with a bang and leaves readers surprised with awe.

[RachelReaper]

That was an unexpected ending.....*still stunned*......but added a vicious twist! It's what truly made it, though it was sad. It made you want to keep reading and held my attention.