freedom of insanity

sometimes being liberated from a situation frees you to be a prisoner of your mind...

I’m free

I’m free

I’m free!

 

“It’s okay, sweetie. Just take your medicine;

You’ll feel better in a minute…”

 

They think I’m crazy but I’m really free.

I’m free to live comfortably

In what they feel is insanity.

Here, there is no calamity

And there is no disparity

It’s just me

And I’m free!

Yo, I’m so free

They can’t see me

Dem cyan’t wrap dem min’ aroun

My philosophy

Ayo! I’m so free

I’m even an emcee!

Ha ha ha! Look at me!

Free!

 

You can’t understand

My version of free

But in short,

I’m no longer bound by society.

My only captivity is to my psyche

And in here I can be

Whoever I wanna be!

 

I can be me

And my other 3 personalities

I don’t know if you’re really ready to meet…

THEM

But we’ll see.

Anyway

Did I tell you I’m free?

I think I did

But I’m just so happy

I can hardly see!

 

I’m free to love unconditionally

Not the way he loved me

Cause when I got free from that instability

I just about went crazy!

I even almost tried to kill me!

See the devil was pursuing me

My friends were eschewing me

God had abandoned me

And that’s when I knew…

I

Was

Free!

 

And when…

And when I got free

o, I’m sorry

You haven’t met me

My name?

Glass half empty

So when I got free

I got liberated from faith and spirituality

I was running from he

That was abusing me

He was stalking and harassing me

Cause he couldn’t love me like he used to--

Punching and slapping me.

But I got so free

I had nowhere to go

Nowhere to run

Nowhere to hide

So I had to hit the road

I mean, I was so free

My life was helter skelter

So free

From my reality

I couldn’t even stay in the shelter.

 

Man, listen, I got so free

I started shelling out the brutality.

Now I’m free

Cause protective agencies

Took the one thing that really loved

And belonged to me.

And now he’s free

To relive my history

And be abused like me

And confused like me

Cause he’s “cared for” by the one

Who wishes she never had me

And resents me

Because unlike her

I don’t willingly

accept handouts from the state.

Well

I mean

I guess I do

Cause my new permanent residency

Is a state funded facility.

But at least here, I can be

Free!

 

Hey everybody!

And don’t mind marie

She’s the more bitter of our

Four man personality.

But me?

I’m super free!

Cause the only one I ever loved

She really left me.

She abandoned our relationship

And then left this life

So instead of moving forward

I stay stuck in spite

Heartache’s my best friend

Pain is my mistress

And misery?

She’s my new wife.

And she’s the best

Cause she’ll never leave

So I’m absolutely free to love her,

Eternally!!

You see?

I’m free!!

I’m free to be stagnated by memories

And free to ignore the pleas

Of the second eve

That was molded for me!

I’m free of fearing commitment

And the loving persistence

Of the one that “should be.”

I’m free cause I already married

My emotional irrationality.

Yessiree!

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’m

FREE!!!

And when--

 

I came to that conclusion--

Why y’all lookin’ at me funny?

Did I black out?

Oooooo

Marie came out;

No, you must’ve met Sonny.

Funny guy, that sonny

He thinks he’s free

But with his warped sense of thinking

He’ll never be freer than me.

He thinks he’s the epitome

Of a life that’s hurt free

But the only thing he epitomizes

Is LO-O-ONELY.

He should really think about

Getting with Marie.

I think that Marie could give Misery

A run for her money!

I mean, I guess she’s free

But not free as me

Cause I

Understand

This bureaucracy that thinks

It has control of me.

They think if they keep me all drugged up

That I won’t see

Their blanket

Of hypocrisy.

I won’t notice that these blue skies

Of which they speak

Are a curtain to hide

What lies beneath.

It’s really just gift wrapped fallacy!

And that’s just fine by me

Cause I’m f to the r to the e to the e!

I mean really.

Who got it better than me?

With my beautiful white walls

And padded floors just in case I fall

How could ANYONE not see this

As the capital of comfortability?!

No fake friends

No sad ends

Nothing being taken

Nothing shaken

(I’m usually wrapped too tight for that)

No more sorrow

No more hopeless tomorrows

Just me

Free to live in vulnerability

With no one taking advantage of

M--

“--iss Shareef? You feeling any better?”

“Yes, thank you nurse. I just need a sweater.

I think I’m coming down with something, though.

I feel a little under the weather.”

“Well, the doctor should be in shortly, Hun.

In the meantime, you want some tea?”

“No thank you, I think I’ll just lay down for a while

And dream about being free…”

Author's Note

This is a performance piece that really comes to life when you hear the characters personified. For me, this is my, "I get it" piece. In my personal opinion, people often THINK they understand what others are going through and they just don't. They can't conceptualize what it is to really have a nervous breakdown. Well, for some, this is what it looks like. I do hope you enjoy...

Reviews

[perfectlymetiKulous]

i honestly LOVED it. it was so unique, so creative, so thoroughly brilliant... i was just amazed that someone with such a charming and seemingly joyful spirit could delve into their psyche and produce such dark, intense emotions -- not to say that you shouldn't be able to, but it's the complete opposite of you. you are such a remarkable writer! i was haunted by the power of your words. the piece was extremely powerful, extremely haunting. each read of it provides you with some new perspective, something you may have missed along the way, some new way to envision it. it was really quite excellent.

[Ed Rector]

within your freedom lays a world of it's own which inturn creates a life that's unfree trapped by a pen and paper to write... idk at least you gain freedom that's always a good thing to obtain... it would be nice to meet your other personalities more so be free to let them out, at least on the page and write how you feel they feel... anyway... see ya- ed

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

"You can't understand
My version of free
But in short,
I'm no longer bound by society.
My only captivity is to my psyche
And in here I can be
Whoever I wanna be!"

Wonderfully creative and different from what I'm use to with you. There is a great liberation that comes with insanity that I almost envy! We all wish to just "be" within our "crazy", but when some deals with having been committed like the character here, you don't have the same worries, which again, I envy. Great introspection and character development. I love the fun and reoccurring theme of freedom as well.

[Victoria Harlequin]

Woah, this is amazing! So much strength, brilliance, and emotion. I love this write. It has a nice flow and it holds its own. I really don't have any words right now! I've been blown away

[Liza]

No fake friends

No sad ends

truly liberated!

[Mr_Deathly]

I didnt read this poem yet but i know already that this is that fire. damn u on fire like a phoenix burn s**t up and bring it back to life. i hope to be as great as u :) keep it up (love u sis)

[24KMind]

My third time reading it and it still touches me in a way that it did when you first read it to me! I love it!

Most definitely one of my favorites!

[SallyS29]

A wonderfully written write and a well-structured presentation of a feeling few of us will every accomplish � being completely free. I agree that the impact of this would be greatly enhanced if performed live.

Well done!

[Vaishali..^_^]

wow..!!this is so beautiful and such a unique piece...!
great work..^_^

[Jinx's Heart]

Wow! This was beautifully written with such a unique conceptual insight to a person's struggles. I admire your clever and insightful method of writing this. Just amazing piece of work!