Why I Can't Let You In

I have a problem letting ppl know what bothers me and anymore I have troubles letting those I love get close. Here's a poem I wrote to help express why.

 

My feelings I locked away up tight

Hidden from more that just you

I know it’s wrong but I pretend it’s right

Too much I have gone through

 

My fear over rules all

My heart has no say

I’m scared but I would rather fall

Than run in the direction of the toll I must pay

 

No one know why I hide

Because no one knows I do

Disguised with a mask on the outside

But designed to be who?

 

I fear to think

Because of all the questions I find

Down lower I sink

Into the disarray of my mind

 

I myself wonder why I run

From feeling and truth, from me and from you

Instead of following my path towards the sun

The farther into night I flew

 

Farther and farter back I’m slinking

Finding other ways to avoid my pains

I begin to fear blinking

For each new tear it ordains

 

I fear feeling

Because I fear where it will lead

I have no hope for healing

Because of the people who make me bleed

 

 

Deep inside a wilted flower

The part no one can see

For it only gives them power

Power over me

 

The two I love most

The two I let in

Simply betrayed the host

Lusting in their sin

 

The center of my pain

The cause of my hurt

The struggle to remain sane

All parts of this story, an insert

 

I can’t run away

That leaves no way out

They’ll never stop their foray

And I can’t completely stop up the spout

 

The one part that leaks

The one connected to them

I can only hope no one peeks

Because that tear I cannot hem

 

I’m sorry if you don’t understand

My fears make it hard to express

But you can easily move on, thank you for the hand

But in truth no one can make the depression any less

Reviews

[Julio Cesar Ruiz]

I think am begining to understand who you are through your writing though I've only read two poems so far. I plan on reading the rest for I find your style of writing interesting both in what and how you write and say. I might be wrong in saying this but you appear much older in thought than you truly are.