Mozzy Hell

A tale of one sleepless night.

I’m counting bouncy fluffy sheep

And drifting gently off to sleep

Her fearsome whine is all I hear

As she dive-bombs just past my ear.

 

Then all at once I’m wide awake

And cannot rest until I take

The life of this one tiny thing

That whizzes by me on the wing.

 

She will not leave: it’s her or me

(And I know which one it will be)

I listen for that sound again

As I turn on the lights, and then

I scan the ceiling and the walls.

Soon I will have her by the… balls?

 

My strategy is all pre-planned:

With rolled-up magazine in hand

I stalk my prey. This evil b***h

Won’t suck my blood and leave an itch.

 

And then I see her, sitting there

Upon the wall, without a care:

I aim -- with care -- and then I whack

Somehow, she dodges my attack.

 

I play the waiting game anew.

At last she settles down in view;

One strong, swift swipe meets with success:

It leaves a flattened, splattered mess.

 

Then back to bed, lay down my head;

Sigh pleasantly of dreams ahead.

But just as I begin to snore --

Oh no! That sound! It’s back once more!

 

There’s no way I can have missed her…

D****t! It must be -- her sister!

©2007 Pendantry

Author's Note

Just in case anyone should take offense at the apparent sexism in this poem: as I understand it (and, as with many things, I could be wrong) it's only the female that is built to feed on blood. The males only live long enough to inseminate the females, then, having done their part, they just die...

Reviews

[Desert Dreamer]

This poem was great fun to read. As much as I do enjoy insects for company, the mosquito is not one I care to have around. Still laughing...

[Muse]

Damn mosiquitos, the preying mantis, black widow...not to mention Eve; no wonder females are given such a bad rap. I loved the humor behind this poem. Thank you for sharing. :D

[Robert Haigh]

A fun poem, with a serious side to it as well. You need a plug-in insecticutor by the sound of it!