Jake & Jack

Jake & Jack

A Story by Petar Oklobdzija
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Two friends go for a drink.

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“Look at that f**k over there.”

“Where?”

“Right over there, across the street. The one with the blue shirt sitting next to that fat chick.”

“Oh, I see him. What about him?”

“Do you think he’s gay?”

“Doesn’t really look gay, why?”

“Good looking gay guys are the only ones that hangout with fat girls like that.”

“Well it could be his sister, or cousin or something like that.”

“Nah, doesn’t look like a family resemblance.”

“How the hell can you tell if there’s a family resemblance from this far away?”
“Because I’m just that good. I think he’s gay.”

“What if it’s his girlfriend? Why do you even care?”

“There is no way that is his girlfriend. That would mean he digs her for her personality, and only her personality. Who the hell loves someone only for what’s inside anymore?”

“Idunno, that’s a valid point I guess. Maybe he is gay. Idunno, go ask him for f**k’s sake.”

“I think I just might.”

“Jesus Christ Jake I wasn’t serious! Sit your a*s down!”

Unfortunately, Jake decided to ignore Jack’s pleas for reason. It was a summer afternoon in the city. Everyone was out and about enjoying the pleasant weather. Jack and Jake were seated outside a bar, enjoying a beer after work, and talking nonsense to pass the time before they had to go home to their wives, as was their daily tradition. Jake was a tall, fit man sporting a navy blue suit. He was a bit intimidating to tell the truth, with him being a former college rugby player and all. Jack was significantly shorter and less built, but able to hold his own when the time required it. He too was sporting a suit, though his was a light grey. Jake hurried across the busy street and made his way to where the afore mentioned couple was seated, appearing to be in a friendly debate about something or another. Jack watched from a distance, praying for nothing horribly wrong to emerge from the coming altercation. Finally, only the fence that gently gated in the sitting area of the café separated Jake from the two. He lit a cigarette and gave them a gaze, they having yet to notice him paid no mind while he listened in on their conversation.

“Oh my god there is no freaking way!” the woman remarked, slamming her hands on the table quite obnoxiously.

“I know, I know. I couldn’t believe it either,” the man in question remarked. His voice was too close to call either way, so Jake decided now was as good a time as any to put an end to his curiosity.

“Are you gay by any chance?” Jake blandly directed towards the fellow.

The two stopped their conversation and turned their heads towards the guilty party.

“What the f**k did you just ask me?” the man angrily replied.

“Well excuse me for saying, but this whole situation here doesn’t add up unless you sir, are gay. You two don’t look related. And please take no offense Ms. but he is quite a bit too good looking for you.”

The two were now gawking at him, not really quite able to believe how blunt Jake was being.

“Honestly it’s no big deal if you are, me and my bud over there,” Jake said pointing to Jack who quickly hid his head behind a menu in embarrassment, “Well we were just curious.”

“What if he just loves me for me?” The woman asked, obviously embarrassed by the whole ordeal.

Jake began to laugh, “I’m sorry but there’s just no f*****g way. What with people being people in this day and age. Love isn’t really what it used to be.”

A quick silence came over the bunch as Jake took a drag from his cigarette, which was obviously bothering the man.

“Ya know what, I guess I could go for the possibility that she’s just really rich. Is that your angle bud?”

“Sir I’m going to have to kindly ask you to f**k off.”

“Hey man, I mean no disrespect. I’m just looking for an answer to my original question and then I’ll be right on my merry way,” Jake replied sheepishly, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“F**k you,” the woman responded.

“Sir you have five seconds to leave before I call that officer over there and have you arrested for harassment!”

“Sir you have five seconds to leave before I call that officer over there and have you arrested for harassment,” Jake said in a high pitch mocking tone, as he looked in the direction in which the man was gesturing towards. He noticed the cop leaning on the side of a building smoking a cigarette.

“Well then,” he began, “thanks for nothing.”

Jake gave them a bow and walked back to Jack. The two telling him off as he made his way across the street, he himself replying by flipping them off without so much as a look. When he sat down, he took a sip of his beer and began to laugh when he noticed the look of utter disgust he was receiving from his pal.

“What?” he asked.

“What the f**k is wrong with you! They’re still staring over here, what the hell did you say?”

Jake continued to laugh and then said, “I asked the lad if he was gay. Then I went into my reasoning for assuming such, so he threatened to have that cop over there arrest me for harassment.”

“Jesus Christ, I can’t take you anywhere can I?”

“Not a single public place on this fine green earth,” Jake replied with a cheeky grin.

They both began to laugh and finished their beers. Jake took a pause and then looked at his glass, “How about another one?”

“Nah, I got to get home. We have to go see the doctor to check on the baby.”

“Oh c’mon, just one more. When’s the appointment?”

“In an hour.”

“That’s plenty of time! Claire won’t be pissed if you’re home like fifteen minutes late. Plus, I have to talk to you about that thing.”

“Ha,” Jack said as he began to stand up, “Just wait until your wife gets pregnant, you’ll understand then.”

“Oh whatever. We still meeting at the pub tonight?”

“Yeah, we can talk about it then. I’m telling you know though its gonna be a quiet night for us, I got to be home at some sort of reasonable time.”
“Us? You mean you.”

“Whenever one of us is fucked that means the other is just as bad, if not worse. We’re taking it easy tonight, got it?”

“Yes master.”

Jack shook Jake’s hand and walked away. Jake motioned for the waitress to come over, and then ordered another beer.

“Same one sir?”

“Yep, shot of whiskey too if you don’t mind.”

“I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

“Thank you,” he replied as he attentively watched the waitress walk away.

“Damn,” he said smiling and shaking his head in approval as he lit another cigarette.

 

“Hey honey I’m home,” Jack said as he shut the door of his apartment and set his keys on the kitchen table.

“In here!” a voice shouted from the bedroom.

It was a quaint little apartment. It had a modern look to it, a rather open space actually. Jack followed the voice into the bedroom, and saw Claire laying in bed watching T.V. She was blatantly pregnant, her stomach protruding in a manner that made it obviously she was rather far along. Claire had a petite face and warm eyes. Her long brunette reached just past her chest. Jack jumped into bed and immediately gave her a kiss. He gently put his hand on her belly.

“Don’t we have to see the doctor today?” Jack said as he noticed she was no where near ready to leave the house.

“Nope, he rescheduled for Monday.”

“Oh alright then. How’s it doing today?”

“It?”

“Well we don’t know the sex yet so what the hell else am I supposed to call it?”

“Whatever,” Clair replied as she playfully rolled her eyes. “The baby’s been good today, a little kicking here and there but other than that nothing spectacular.”

“Good, and how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. Fat, but okay.”

“The most beautiful fat girl I’ve ever seen,” he replied.

“Oh shutup.”

“Speaking of large women, you will not believe what Jake did today.”

“Oh no, what was it this time?”

Jack went on to tell the story, Claire rolling her eyes and giggling here and there as he went on about it.

“Why am I not surprised that he would do something like that?”

“Because it’s Jake, of course.”

They laughed it off and then Jack got up off the bed.

“What are we eating?”

“Delivery, I refuse to cook tonight and you’re horrible at it.”

“Point taken, Chinese?”

“Eh.”

“Pizza?”

“Eh.”

“Italian?”

“Eh.”
“Make up your mind woman.”

“Chinese.”

“Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?”

“I didn’t feel like Chinese then.”

“But thirty seconds later you do?”

“Ask this wonderful pregnant woman of yours another question and I will stab you in the neck, with a fork.”

“Why not a chopstick? That would’ve been a little more funny.”

“Just order the damn food!” Claire yelled, throwing the remote at Jack as he retreated into the kitchen, laughing all the way.

He ordered the food and then returned to the bedroom.

“So after we eat I’m gonna go meet Jake at the pub for a few.”
“Just a few?” she replied with a look of doubt.

“Scouts honor,” Jake said raising his hands.

“Fine, not too late though please. If you wake me up when you come back I will murder you.”

“Got it.”

 

“Alright, I’m going to head out now.”

“Not too late, please.”

Jake got up from the couch and leaned down, giving Em a quick peck on the lips. She was tall and lean, her tan face and worn blue eyes were partially covered by her stringy black hair. A joint was burning between her fingers. She handed it to Jake, who took a quick toke and then blew the smoke in her face, followed by another kiss. This time longer, with a bit more feel to it.

“I’ll be back before you know it babe,” he said as he began to pull away. She held on, not allowing him to stand back up.

“Why don’t you just stay in, I’m already ready to go to bed,” she said, biting her lip.

“You horny b*****d,” Jake replied as he pulled away. “Jack needs to get out of that damn house, he’s been waiting on Claire hand and foot for the last eight months!”

“As he very well should be! You think it’s going to be any different for you when I get pregnant? You’re going to be my slave, boy,” Em replied with a devious smirk.

“Great, can’t wait,” Jake said, shrugging it off as he walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water as he continued to toke on the joint.

“Speaking off, when are we going to start trying?”

Jake took a sip of water and gave her a blank stare, “When I’m ready to begin a nine month jail sentence, which I don’t see happening anytime soon.”

“Ha,” she replied, “nine months? More like eighteen years.”

“Exactly!”

“Oh c’mon Jake, a kid would be great.”

Jake took a seat next to her on the couch and wrapped his arm around her, “I know Em, I’m just not ready for something like that yet. Ya know?”

“Then when?”

“Soon. A year maybe. Or two. Soon.”

“We’ll see about that. Might just have to start poking holes in the condoms.”

“Since when have I ever used a condom?”

“True, I’ll just stop taking my birth control.”

“Don’t you dare!” Jake replied seriously.

“Jeez fine, okay. I was only joking.”

“Something tells me you aren’t,” he replied in a concerned tone as he got up again and made his way to the door. Em replied with a giggle and a smirk, picking up the joint resting in the ashtray, taking a dramatic toke.

“You never know, us women are diabolical sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” Jake said with a scoff, “More like all the time.”

 

“Holy s**t bud look at that one,” Jake said pointing out a pretty blonde leaning on the bar, more so looking like the bar was leaning on her.

“Shutup Jake, she’s probably like nineteen. Look at her, it’s eleven and she can barely stand.”

“Hey nineteen is better than seventeen, am I right?” Jake replied to Jack, as they began to laugh while they clanked their glasses together in agreement. They were at a spot named Kavanaughs, an Irish pub as you may have guessed. It was not the largest joint in the world, but it was roomy enough to fit a good crowd. The bar stools were taken by the usual’s, each having a fictional name known to the two lads so they could refer to them when necessary. The congregation was normal for a Saturday. Along with the usual’s, were the college kids, and a few others matching in age to Jack and Jake also littered the booth’s set up against the back wall.

“So how’s Claire today?” Jake inquired.

“She’s good, nothing to spectacular today as far as I know.”

“So how’s the sex? With her being pregnant and all?”

“Seriously?” Jack replied, glaring back at Jake.

“What? I’m curious! Em has been bugging me about it again and I don’t know if I can go that long with out having sex with her.”

“Well it’s not like she’s the only one you’ve been getting with lately,” Jack replied in a condescending tone.

“F**k off, it was only twice. More than a month ago too.”

“Did you fess up to it?”

“Fess up to it? Are you on crack? She’d cut my balls off.”

“Deservedly so,” Jack said finishing his beer.

Jake looked past Jack too the band playing behind him. They consisted of three guitarists and a horn player, they had an odd groovy vibe to them. Not something you’d expect given the character of the bar. Jake noticed Jack’s empty beer and gave him a nod.

“Want another one? It’s my turn this round right?” he said as he chugged the rest of his.

“Nah, I think I am gonna head home now. I told you it would only be a few tonight.”

“What the f**k, we’ve only had like five, and it’s a Saturday night. Don’t be such a p***y.”

“My wife is at home pregnant, what other f*****g excuse do you need to hear?”

Jake laughed, “If anything that’s the only excuse you should need to keep on drinking. God damnit man, isn’t it torture there? Having to wait on her all the time like that?”

“Well it’s my baby too jackass. And it’s starting to get near crunch time, it’s due in a month ya know.”

“Whatever. One more, please?”

Jack nodded yes, though not very happy about it. Jake jumped out of his seat and slapped him on the shoulder, “That’s my boy. I’ll be right back.”

 

Before they knew what happened, ten rounds later, the lights came on and it was closing time.

“Holy f**k,” Jack said looking at his watch, “Claire is going to f*****g kill me.”

“Oh relax,” Jake slurred. He was struggling to finish the shot of whiskey sitting in front of him. “It’s Saturday for f**k’s sake, she’ll be just fine.”

“That’s what you think, lets go close out tabs and get the f**k out of here.”
“Yes master,” Jake replied with a clumsy salute. They stood up and went to the bar. After paying their tabs, they made their way to the door. Jake immediately lighting up a cigarette.
“Hey let me have one of those,” Jack asked.

Jake handed him his pack and Jack fished out a cigarette, then lit it.

“Oh f**k,” Jake said slapping himself on the forehead.

“What?” Jack replied in between drags.

“We never talked about it.”

“Huh?”

“Remember,” Jake quietly said, leaning close to Jack’s ear,” the thing.”
“Oh, well lets go for a walk then, its nice outside.”

“Damn straight.”

The two started walking in the direction of home, not a word being said for quite a few paces. Finally Jack looked at Jake puzzled, “Jake, so what is it?”

Jake looked at Jack like he had no clue what he was talking about, “What?” he asked.

“The thing, ya know? That you wanted to talk about?”

“Oh right!” Jake exclaimed as he tossed his cigarette into the street, immediately lighting another one. He took a drag and sighed.

“So what is it?”

“Right,” Jake replied. “Well, I’m fucked.”

“I can see that.”

“No no, not as in I’m drunk. Well I am drunk, but like the philosophical fucked.”

“What the hell?”

“F**k off, you know what I mean. I’m screwed. Done for.”

“In what way exactly?” Jack said, now a bit concerned.

“I fucked up Jack, I really fucked up. They fired me.”

“What! Why? What the f**k did you do?”

Jake didn’t reply, but continued to walk and smoke his cigarette. Finally, after stumbling a bit, he let out a sigh.

“They caught me Jack, the m***********s caught me.”

“Doing what? What the f**k happened you drunk b*****d?”

“I’ve been stealing money from those f***s for the last two years. Ya know, f*****g with the numbers.”

“What? Like as in embezzlement?”

“Big time.”

“How much?”

“Two million,” Jake whispered, putting his head down in shame.

“You’re f*****g kidding me.”

“Wish I was bud. They caught me last week, some new accountant they got finally f*****g checked everything. The stupid b******s, they finally got a guy to actually do some sort of work for them.”

“Jesus Christ, does Em know?”

“Hell no, you think I have the balls to tell her something like that?”

“Well what the f**k is going to happen to you?”

“Well, they fired me. They’re still trying to figure out how much I actually took, they’ve only figured around $750,000. But they’re going to find the rest if they actually look for it. “

“F**k man.”

“Yeah, when they brought me in to the office I had no clue. They just laid it on me, m***********s were pretending like they knew the whole time. But there’s no way. If they did I would’ve gotten fucked ages ago.”

“Are they gonna call the cops?”

“Not yet, they want to sit down with me on Monday and want me to fess up. They don’t want it to get out that an a*****e like me was able to rob me blind. If they go to the cops, the media will get wind of it.”

“Well then what are they gonna do? Make you pay it back?”

“I doubt it will just be that easy. These guys have connections man, and this is a lot of money for people with connections to just want to have it paid back.”

“You think they’ll kill you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I know a lot about how those cocksuckers go about their business.”

The two fell silent as Jack began to try and process the whole situation. They were still walking, the city lights made it seem brighter than midday. Jack noticed a bench coming up, grabbed Jake by the arm, and led him to it. They sat down. Jake then pulled out a vile of cocaine, and snorted a line off his hand.

“That’s better,” he said as he lit another cigarette.

“So what the f**k are you going to do?”

“Idunno, I’m thinking about going to the cops and just turning myself in, maybe offering up the high brass and all their bullshit to avoid time. This corruption s**t would go federal, then maybe Em and I could get into witness protection.”

“You think that would work?”

“I don’t know Jack, I just really don’t want to die.”

Jack leaned back and looked up into the sky. He wondered how the f**k this all came to be. Then realized it was Jake, he shouldn’t be that surprised.

“Only you Jake, only you would pull some s**t like this. “

“I know.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Jack this s**t was the easiest money in the world. Those m***********s have no clue what is going on, and the accountant they had was a complete dumbass. I was going to stop too. But last week, I made one last move. And I guess the new guy caught it.”

“Jesus Christ. Who the hell are they connected with?”

Jake shook another couple lines on his hand, offering one to Jack.

“No thanks man.”

“Suit yourself,” Jake said before snorting it all.

“Why don’t we just go home,” Jack asked.

“No way,” Jake replied as he raised the vile, “I’ve got at least a gram left and intend on doing it all before I get home. I can’t have Em knowing I’m back on this s**t.”

“F**k. Fine. One more hour, then I really have to go.”

“That’s fine.” Jake looked up and noticed a liquor store down the block across the street. “Why don’t you go grab us each a forty? I could use another pack of cigarettes too if you don’t mind. I’ll stay here and make sure no bum’s steal out spot.”

Jack glared at Jake, “Fine. I guess I’ll be right back then.”

“Safe travels,” Jake said as he shook another couple lines onto his hand. Jack got up and made his way across the street and down the block to the store. Thinking the whole time about how fucked it all was. Why did Jake have to be Jake? After a few short minutes, he entered the store. Jack grabbed two forty’s, and got a pack of cigarettes. He then exited the store, lighting up a cigarette for his troubles. He began walking back towards Jake, who he could see was shoving more of that s**t up his nose. The streets were quiet; few cars were out and about at this time of night. Suddenly, a black range rover cruised quietly by him. What a beautiful car he thought. He looked out again and saw Jake leaning back on the bench, head up towards the sky as he dragged his cigarette. As he was looking, he noticed the Rover had begun to slow down as it got near Jake. Coming to a complete stop once beside him.

“What the f**k?” Jack said to himself.

Jake hadn’t noticed the car. Suddenly, the rear passenger window opened, and a mumbled voice shouted out at Jake. It got his attention.

“Jake!” Jack yelled. Jake turned his head to Jack and gave him a solemn salute. As if almost in slow motion, a pistol emerged from the window. Jack had now dropped everything and went into a full sprint towards Jake.

 

Jack couldn’t stop replaying it in his head, over and over again. The car, the gun, the shots. Jake’s body slumping over and falling off the bench. There was nothing he could have done, right? This wasn’t his fault, it couldn’t have been. What could he have possibly done to stop it? Nothing, nothing at all.

 


© 2017 Petar Oklobdzija



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I think it was the smooth dialogue that kept me riveted throughout. The denoument was classic but the journey through this well written piece was the most enjoyable part for me. Excellent write.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Petar Oklobdzija

2 Months Ago

thank you kind sir

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Believe It Or Not
Believe It Or Not
This is my first attempt at slam poetry, and I'm excited to film a performance of this piece over the coming day.
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Added on July 26, 2017
Last Updated on July 26, 2017

Author

Petar Oklobdzija
Petar Oklobdzija

Milwaukee, WI



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21. Creative writing major at UW-Milwaukee. more..

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