Raw emotions

Raw emotions

A Poem by Phoebe Woode

I am doing worse than I did a week ago

In fact I wish I could take a day off because my heart

has been painted with the color of sadness and I can’t seem to purify it

It feels as if my stomach is turning into a fist,

punching me every time I think about him.

It feels like Ana is back in town

And she is here to stay.

She and I used to be friends once.

When I did not know any better.

She was the one who taught me to ignore the hunger in my stomach.

Such a bad disorder she is.

I allow my emotions to do as they please with my tears

My heart aches so hard I wish could take a day off.

But, that means that I will have to make up a physical illness that mimics the symptoms of the emotional one.

But, apart from that I am doing fine.

Apart from seeing you and her doing what you guys did I..

I can’t even complete this sentence.

And those who claim to know me are nowhere to be found.

The wall has become more human than those who call themselves my friends.

Such word has lost its meaning years ago.

Right now it feels like crying is the only language I speak these days.

I allow my tears to do as they please.

I try to be optimistic.

But, I learned that there is a difference between being overly optimistic and pretending to be happy.

And that I was both with you.

Now I am just laying on my bed.

Ana is back again.

She tells me to skip lunch and to through away dinner.

Breakfast was not even an option.

The acid in my stomach turns into an ocean of pain.

And I ask myself, where do I go from here.

© 2016 Phoebe Woode

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Phoebe Hi. I came upon your work via a leapfrog with A.Marie's 'friends' as an intermediate step. I found this very disquieting - that's because it's well written. I was wondering about Ana and disorder and, having read Mondaine's comments, I can see exactly how this could be seen that way. I especially like the unfinished sentence.That said, I'm not entirely sure I've got who 'you' is .... life or will to live maybe?

Well done for a thought-provoking and. as I say, disquieting write.


Posted 3 Months Ago

hey Phoebe! raw emotions is a pretty good title for this poem. it definitely seems pretty brutal. my interpretation is that that narrator...(not sure if this is autobiographical, and i don't want to make assumptions)...that the narrator is struggling with anorexia. Ana, to me, is a code name for anorexia. and all the lines about the narrator's stomach and hunger and meals (lunch, dinner, breakfast) further elaborate on this. and then of course specifically saying "such a bad disorder she is." i can definitely feel the pain the narrator must be going through. you've expressed this poem very well, and it's seems quite agonizing for the narrator and i can 'feel' the struggle it must be. thanks for sharing this poem, Phoebe!!

Posted 1 Year Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on September 21, 2016
Last Updated on September 21, 2016