knock down ginger

what the title suggests. a prank gone completely wrong. the picture is actually a photo taken from that night, after we got chased...oh lord i look young.

This happened 6 years ago. How it came about….was so stupid but damn was it funny.

Basically me and 3 friends of mine were roaming about Phipps bridge at night (we were 14-16 at the time, we thought this was legit s**t) and were bored. So we decided to play knockdown ginger because you know, no one sleeps at night do they? So they wouldn’t mind us knocking the s**t out of their doors and running away giggling like idiots. We did this for an hour and then I got pier pressured into doing one, if I didn’t I was forever branded a p***y. Ooooh the humanity!

 

Yeah so I did a couple and then when I hit my third door I kicked it instead of knocking on it.

Now it wasn’t no little nudge with the foot…like I proper did a golf swing and it made some deep loud THUD. This house was in the middle of the street and you could hear the sound on either end of it. Obviously that hurt. You don’t kick like that and expect the object to not fight back…anyway we were all running away while I was limping because the kick damn near crippled me and all of a sudden we here this from behind us;

 

“YOU F*****G C**T. YOU WANNA KICK MA DOOR DAAAN? COME HERE I’LL KICK YOUR HEAD IN”

 

Believe it or not the nutter was polish.

 

Now at that moment we were laughing our assess off knowing we got a reaction we wanted….uuuuuntil we heard him pick up a piece of metal and heard his heavy footsteps pursue us.

 

That’s when s**t got tense.

 

We weren’t going to out run this guy, he was like a rhino charging at some hyenas that stole his food. So we ducked left into this alleyway that was in-between some houses and my friends hid behind some dustbins. There was no room for me to hide behind them so I did the next best thing and tipped an empty damp box over me(I was round 4’8-4’7 at that time, that box was like a bedroom to me). there was no street lamp there so it was pretty dark, couldn’t even tell we were there.

 

But this PRICK must have had nightvision.

 

He knew exactly where we went, just didn’t know where we were hiding. So my friends are behind the dustbins probably scared shitless and I am inside this box praying to god he doesn’t lift it up and get done for murder. The fact I couldn’t see him and only heard him screaming “COME ON YOU C**T. I’LL STAY HERE ALL NIGHT” was just horrible. I swear I was in the fetal position at one point mentally begging him to stop screaming the insults. This fear was short lived though as the guy was probably brainless and lost interest very quickly. My friends were watching what he was doing and from them whispering aggressively “phillip get the f**k up and run” I knew this guy must of turned his back or moved all together. Me taking no chances leapt out like a f*****g jack in the box and jumped over the fence behind me, my friends followed. how I summoned the strength to scale a fence that tall I’ll never know.

 

Just when we thought s**t was getting better…it got worst…coooooooooooompletely. Because we hopped over garden fences like it was metal gear solid without the stealth, the neighbours were alerted and so was the f*****g guy with the metal pole. Not only that but we were near enough in the middle of the street remember? These houses are semi detached. So we were in for some chav Olympics right here. The f*****g 300m garden fence hurdles. Just climbing and jumping…climbing and jumping. Peoples back yard lights were going on, some even came out and chased us thinking we were robbers.

 

1 had a freaking dog!(it was a staff crossbred with a greyhound. I know because I looked the thing dead in the face when I landed on the floor, luckily it wasn’t violent)

 

Approaching the final fence on the last house we all jumped the thing like we had rocket propelled asses. Felt like an escape scene out of a movie….felt good until the landing, by that I mean I landed and one of my friends used my head as a stepping stool to get down….d****e. but finally we were out of the gardens and onto some pavement. All panting and that, sweating, trying to regain our breath….

 

And the he was.

 

The guy we pranked. As I said he heard everything and followed us. boy I bolted, didn’t give a s**t where my friends were. I just ran like I was Justin beiber being chased by a platoon of teen bopping fan girls who barely entered puberty. Doing so I didn’t realise that this guy stopped chasing us a long time ago. Knowing that I just collapsed on the floor, exhausted from the messed up and quite frankly scary a*s events that occurred that night. My friends were all sitting down next to me regaining their breath from running which was pretty much the best part of 400m….

 

well that’s what It felt like.

 

Didn’t even say goodbye to one another. We just all went our separate ways and headed off home. F**k staying out any longer. Had enough action and suspense for one night.

Author's Note

ignore the grammar. i know it sucks balls.

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

"Rocket propelled asses." That's funny. Great story.

[xxxrawr_friendxxx]

HAHAHAHAHAHA That was the funniest thing I've ever read. Great Metal Gear Solid reference lol. Omg. XDDD
And I still adore how tall you are. X3

[nigrum homonculus]

haha i knew you would catch on to that! haha thank you!

[xxxrawr_friendxxx]

Yesh! Lol no problemo! :D

[That_Girl]

lmao this is hysterical. Reminds me of a time Damien and I 'borrowed' this rich guy's pool and he sent his.. idk security guard I guess... after us. Ran like hell.

This was funny... keep posting.

[nigrum homonculus]

LOOL seriously? casually jumped into his pool? ah that sounds legendary. ya might post one tomorrow. but i got quite a few experiences so expect more from them

[That_Girl]

Idiot left his gate open and we didn't think he was home... but he was. So he sent his guard after us. Saweet! :)

[Harley (arbiter)]

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD aaaaah funny stuff. That mustve been tense. I've done the kicking doors stuff. Its fun but that's never happened to me

[nigrum homonculus]

haha thanks. ah damn you're lucky. funny thing is if i missed that door out this probably would of never happened

[Harley (arbiter)]

Exactly, and I wouldn't be laughing right now. So its good

[nigrum homonculus]

legit? thanks bro