Writer's Block

A little satire about- guess what?- WRITER'S BLOCK!

 

 

Have you experienced that sinister nemesis, writer’s block?

 

Don’t answer that, stupid. That was a rhetorical question. Every writer that has ever existed has had writer’s block. I’m sure that if you built a time machine, traveled back in time, and met Shakespeare, you’d see that his receding hairline had a great deal to do with writer’s block frustration. And then you’d probably be burned at the stake. Suddenly popping up out of nowhere in a time machine during the Middle Ages is kind of like holding up a big, flashing sign that says “Hello, I’m a witch. Please burn me.”

 

Anyway, my point is writer’s block is devious and can be a maddening experience. Even if someone falls in the shower, hits their head, and is thus struck with a sudden creative epiphany, unless they had a Post-it note and a pencil handy by the shampoo, chances are that the drugs they’ll be given at the hospital for that nasty concussion will probably remove any memory of their inspiration.

 

It anomaly of writer’s block has been defined as a phenomenon involving a loss of ability to start or continue writing, usually due to a lack of creativity and/or inspiration. As most people that have ever gone through it know, that is a load of bullshit. It’s not that we can’t find creativity or inspiration. It’s that we can’t seem to keep it.

 

Creativity is kind of a hard thing to come by, especially with so many temptations like plagiarism and nonfiction in the world, but it isn’t impossible. Ever plagiarized? Well, hopefully not, because otherwise you’re probably the subject of a pretty nasty lawsuit. Nonfiction is a bit better, but not much. I have only ever tried to read one completely nonfiction book. It was about the hibernation habits of animals native to a temperate deciduous forest. Needless to say, I was asleep by the time I reached the fifth sentence. Unfortunately, I was eating breakfast at the time and had to spend a good hour removing cornflakes from my hair. But most people that start to write for fun (God, what were we thinking) in the first place have some degree of creativity. Right?

 

Inspiration is much easier to come by than creativity, so easy that every human person ever born has it eventually, mainly because it can come from, anything. Quite literally, anything (I’ve actually seen someone write a poem about the word “anything”). Although I’m sure they had no social life, someone was inspired by hibernating chipmunks to write that book. Everything has inspired someone at some point- I’m sure somewhere out there is a story following the life of a conch shell.

 

My solution to this maddening peculiarity? Well, I don’t have one. Yes, you wasted your time reading this whole ridiculous passage about how much writer’s block sucks in the hope I might have an answer. Face reality- there isn’t one. Writer’s block is a perverse obstacle created by God for no other purpose than to annoy the hell out of writers. The only way to beat it is to go around it, jump over it, or bash through it and hope you don’t hurt yourself.

 

 

Reviews

[Rie Sheridan Rose]

Like you say, everyone has to deal with it sometime or other. I write poetry when i am blocked from long pieces. :) Carrying around one of those notebooks to jot down the tiny inspirations is one way to help. Then when your creativity comes back, you still have the gems of inspiration written down.

[Jamie Fantasy]

LMAO! That's the most random yet on point thing I think I've ever read in my life.

I love your voice in this and how funny it is. Love it, love it, love it!

[Emily B]

Loss of inspiration is maddening. Knowing that there are words but not for you. I had to smile when I read your words, though. I only wish you had a solution.

[Yaooooooo]

Overall a good read, keep up the good work and feel free to send me a request when ever..
Happens all the time...
LOL

One!

[The Lovely Sound Of Cra..]

I don't think I've ever had this problem... because I'm hyper and have an overactive imagination... so I always find weird things to write about....

Does that make me a freak? =(

[Eric]

I find writing about writing is an excellent way to circumnavigate the block to writing. I certainly hope it's helped you.

Good thinking.

[Robert Luna]

The way I get over writers block is I figure out what it is that is causing the block and then I write about how pissed it makes me that something like that is blocking my creative juices.

Great Piece I really enjoyed reading this.

Wonderful Job!!!

[John Tom]

i don't get writer's block, i only get cocked blocked. how am i suppose to pick up chicks if i can't write? writing is everything! omg, no, come back to me words, come back!

[Michael Carr]

I eat cotton candy and popcorn chicken when i get the writers blues. (even though it causes me diabetic seizures :O)
but enough about me, let's talk about this. while it isn't what I'd call amazing writing as it is a essay of sorts, for what it is, a guide for writers and readers, it's an excellent piece.
a bit of humor here and there, and some good points. well done zephyr.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Sometimes, I turn lack of inspiration into inspiration, or fall back on the old reliable... God Fearing Damnation poems. Take a moral dilemms, explore it, say God is or is not forgiving and tidy it up. Hey presto... a new poem!!!

You can see some of my writers block poems on my profile, or on my back catalogue at http://www.writerstoyou.com

Keep up the good writing!!!

[Angie- Reading As Fast ..]

Nope... never experienced writer's block... (tee hee)