This time I let go

I can see the pounding rain

raising rivers, running them deep

pouring it all into my brain

while I am sound asleep

 

I woke to a marvel sight

one I hope you'll never see

for I could not escape my plight

the river had taken me

 

I stirred and sat upon my raft

really just lucky logs of wood

I turned them into bow and aft

and tried to ride out this flood

 

It was then that I found

a young girl lost at sea

you came on, I showed you round

and you chose to sail with me

 

you know what happens next

and you can tell our tales

as few will lay eyes on this text

the story of a man who failed

 

for fail I did, when you left

and I went on to fail again

I am now of all soul bereft

I carry naught but pain

 

I never should have let you go

that was my worst mistake

I wasn't bold, I was too slow

so you left me in your wake

 

as I wrte this note I'm hanging

but it's not from a gibbet, no

I hang over poseidon's raging

and over certain death below 

 

As I begin to drink and drown

my shouting begins to slow

I feel the current pull me down

and this time I let go...

Author's Note

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Reviews

[symmetryAsymmetry]

awesome write, dude!
shook me wide awake!

[Mauricio Montoya]

This piece makes me think of life and the fear of leaving ones comfort zone. Because of all the things that rolls in ones head. But life about taking risk and in the end one grows stronger.
Excellent write..

[Deepshikha]

The imagery is wonderful, as is the flow of the poem. I think this is your best yet! :D

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

This is a wonderful piece. The rhyming is excellent and I love the use of the old language.

[Nish Nish the Fish]

agreed that this is very intensely emotional, and powerful. well done! i love the story you tell and the message you convey. thanks for sharing

[Rachael]

Yet again another good poem. A few grammatical things, but that's not too important. It tells a nice story and you used words well to create the imagery.. I don't know what else to add at the moment. haha

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is incredibly intense writings. Must have been the real thing. It was unique in the way the nurturing water was turned against you. Then, the soul that made life complete brought such grief. The water is almost like a metaphor hidden in plain sight. This poem is powerful because of the candid speech that only comes from the heart...and the mysterious nature of it all. I feel that even these overwhelming emotions are simply a scratch on the surface....making me read and almost think I can understand how it feels.