How Caligo Came To Be

A long time ago, perhaps it was three years or so, there was a little girl who had neither fear nor fright, but she was best known for being extremely bright. Oh the look on her face when she conquered science and shot down math. Every school subject shivered in her wrath. Everyone loved her and they let her know. All except one, who was called Caligo. She was neither human nor animal, but a creature of the Dark. She was hauntingly beautiful; her pale face showed no mark. She looked human well enough, except for her hungry cat eyes. Not to mention her snake-like tongue always spitting lies. Caligo advanced towards the girl, but the girl did not cower. Seething, Caligo made it her mission to destroy the young blooming flower. The Lady of Darkness decided to take over the girl that very night. Nightfall came and the little girl was caught by surprise, so she put up no fight. The little girl still looked like a little girl so no one could tell that something else inhabited the girl's inner shell. As time went by, Caligo talked to the young child. She taught her the power of Darkness and how to no longer be weak and mild. Then came the day when the little girl was no longer there. It was  then when people noticed when and searched for her as far as they would dare. Meanwhile the girl was stuck in her body with Caligo. All she could do was watch people like watching a show. Eventually the girl found love for Caligo, but she still could not get out. So every day and every night she would scream and shout. And to this very day, every night the people still cry, "little girl, little girl, where did you go?" "I'm here!" she always shouts, "I'm here!" But no one can hear her and so no one can know.

Reviews

[Lost in Wonderland]

This is very well written, The rhyme created an very poetc, and eerie atmosphere. nice write:)

[.shalynn.009.]

"It was then when people noticed when" I think the second "when" wasn't supposed to be there.

An intriguing story. I liked that it rhymed, and the kind of dual reltionship the girl had with Caligo. Caligo helps her, but traps her. I liked the ending line best. And the kind of lack of detail and simplicity really made it interesting, kind of the way a local legend or oral story would be told. Also, I was glad you left the girl without a name. Made her more universal.

Interesting story/poem. I would never think of rhyming a story, but you did a good job with it. Nothing stood out as really awkward. The rhythm did get slightly forced here and there, but because it was a story rather than a poem, it didn't bother me, though I did have to search for the rhyme once or twice, because I wasn't sure where it was going to fall. But overall a very interesting and original write.