Midnight Star

A lonley friend who sits alone in the wave of darkness...

I stair straight up,

into the sea of black

above me

and I see a faint and

meek sparkle sitting in

the middle of it all.

Just sitting there;

taking it all in,

like I.

The shame we both feel,

and yet at the same time,

joy,

for we know, that we

need only ourself,

no one else.

A feeling slowly begins

to burst and bloom

like a morning

rose in the hot sparkling sun rays.

We are both sad.

It is sad;

sad because it is alone,

for when you are the Midnight Star,

or the outsider, like I,

you are always alone.

Reviews

[Tony]

This poem changes mood in at least a couple of ways, for example, in the first lines I am taking in a starry night, and then.........the shame.......and then joy. And so forth.
Unpredictable concept.........good use of vocabulary.........and I really like the way it is finished. A lonesome feeling, contemplated and born of a starry night.
Not your everyday poem here.

Stair..........in this case, the word 'stare' should be used.

[Steffi]

I love the idea of this piece writing about the lonely outcast. The rhythm is a tad off though and it takes so much away from the really beautiful message. Maybe if you take away some of the choppiness it will flow so much better that it will be almost lyrical.

Also I do believe you meant Stare in the first line :D

[Sarah]

I really like this poem, and how it talks of lonliness as though it's also independance. Even though both yourself and the Midnight Star are alone, you realize that you need only yourselves, and that's enough. Realy beautiful. (:

[James K. Blaylock]

It is a lonely life, being the outcast. I took much from this piece, being a lifelong outcast, myself. Great write.

jkb

[Mizu No Mita]

It's a good write but I can see how our styles are different for when I read this I would have written it slightly different and some of your spelling is incorrect. But the overall feeling is well put out.

~Mizu No Mita

[Gavin Keary]

Again you impress me with your words and the overall feeling of it. This is probably the favorite so far that I have read of yours!