BOB BISWAS

Tales of BOB BISWAS

" BOB, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FILE ? " screamed Shougotto

 

" What was supposed to happen to it ?"

 

" IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN AT MY F*****G TABLE, THREE BLOODY F*****G HOURS AGO!"

 

" Sorry sir."

 

" WHAT SORRY ? WHERE THE F**K IS YOUR BLOODY MIND ? WHY SO BLOODY ABSENT MINDED ? YOU ARE LAZY, F*****G LAZY! IF THIS WAS A PRIVATE OFFICE, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN FIRED AGES AGO !"

 

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

" WHAT THE HELL BOB! ARE YOU SLEEPING"

 

" no sir, sorry sir"

 

" YOU ARE USELESS, HOPELESS! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE! AND BRING ME THE BLOODY FILE"

 

"Ok sir. sorry sir."

 

BOB  walked out of the office, faking a sad dejected face, He slowly navigated out of the office cubicle maze to reach his destination: MALE URINAL; PLEASE FLUSH AFTER USING THE URINAL

 

He bolted the door of toilet, he took out his cellphone which was vibrating like a fish taken out of water,

 

" Why were you not answering my calls ?"

" Boss attack "

" Oh,O.k. leave office right now, go to Mark's restaurant"

"right now ? My boss wont like it "

" Not my problem"

 

 Bob came out of the toilet

"Hey fatass! Why did you bolt the toilet door?" screamed Sengupta

Bob muttered few inaudible apologies  and made his way to Shougotto's office

 

"Sir i need to take leave, my stomachs not doing so well"  saying that, Bob let out a big stinky fart

 

" WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BOB, HOW DARE YOU ?"

 

"Sorry sir, but my stomach"

He let off another whiff of obnoxius fart

 

"GET OUT OF MY OFFICE"

 

Bob halted a rickshaw, his cell started to ring again

"You have reached Marks?"

'No i am on my way"

"OK. There you will meet your client RONY, he is tall,white complexion and always wear brown shirt"

 

Bob went inside the restaurant 

 

"What will you like sir ?"

 

" Nothing for now"

 

"Pardon sir"

 

" uhm, I am  waiting for someone, let him come then I will order"

 

Bob took out his cell again 

 

"so did you get your client ?"

 "there are three guys wearing brown shirt,who are tall and fair"

"oh s**t! do one thing click their pictures and send them  to me"

"how am i suppose to send them"

"MMS"

"ah,ok"

 

Bob clicked the photo of  RONY #1,

ZWWIKK

 

"Oh s**t!  How do i turn off the camera sound" Bob thought to himself

 

Bob  began to screw with camera setting and somehow managed to set  camera sounds off, he managed to take the pictures and send the MMS

 

"What took you so long ? Does it take 20 minutes?"

"Sorry, i only use cell for making and taking calls,nothing more nothing less"

"it was my bloody mistake to entrust this job to a buffoon like you, next time i will send you the bloody MMS of client"

"quickly tell me! which one is the client? My balance is about to end"

"he is--------------"

 

Bob looked at his cell with dismay, yup he has run out money.

Beep Beep

Bob's face lit up, he had recieved a MMS.

Bob looked at the man in brown suit and smiled, but his smile disappeared as the man started to leave

 

The man was about to exit, but then he stopped and made way back to the restaurant's toilet.

Wasting no time Bob also made his way, towards the toilet.

He ran inside, huffing and puffing, catching his breath.

 

The man in brown suit  got startled, he blurts out :

 

"Nomoshkar"

 

'hufff, huff, huff, ha, Nomoshkor,"Bob said while panting

 

Bob now wondered; Was this RONY? Was this the guy whose picture he had just seen? Doubt started to crept in Bob's head, but then an idea struck

 

"I am Bob Biswas"

"Hi  I am RONY"

 

Bob was relieved that he has got his client, after finishing his job he exits the restaurant and heads home.

Bob's cell starts to ring.

"Good job,its on T.V. "

Bob switches on the T.V.

 

" This just in, a journalist working for Daily Gazette: Rony Dey was found dead in the toilet of  Mark's restaurant, police claim that he has been shot dead, while the people inside in the restaurant say that they have not heard any gunshot, investigation officer Satveer Singh believes that the suspect might have used gun with silencer"

 

 

 " one problem, I had to lose the gun "

"What, you lost the gun"

"after the shooting, it became pretty hot, wasn't able to carry it in my pocket"

"Where did you disposed it ?"

" Threw it in an open manhole, my left thigh now has a bright burnt mark"

"ah,o.k.next time on-wards carry a briefcase"