Senile

In a house
Filled with love
And forgetfulness

Embodies the life
Beyond life, you see.
As they cripple
Unaided

Their pain still lingers
Their souls are broken
Unknown for eternity
But still they�ve tried
To be alive
For such reason
We don�t know

They wanted love
For the last time
Even they are inside
Among the others
Weak and feeble
Without any real family

They cry for a reason
Of pain
Physically
But deep inside
We don�t know

They eat
For a reason of usual pleasure
They still breathe
For they still want to live
And they sleep
Eagerly, their reasons
For life will end�

Ultimately

Reviews

[Dante Balsote]

"They still breathe, for they still want to live..." Such statements pertain to the will and a sense of responsibility. And only a few can deliver it to actuality. There is sadness looking at the old. But are they really lost? No. They are forever stored in the past.

"I will carry this suture
Into the future.
The past never passes
It simply amasses."

[Kara Emily Krantz]

this is really well written. - i think this is one of the best i've read of yours. it had a bittersweet quality to it, and a lovely atmosphere.

"In a house
Filled with love
And forgetfulness " - great line, great opening. captured me completely right away, and that's rare, and very well done.

you really captured moments here.

[[untitled]]

very sad indeed.

[Juliette Cross]

your scenes are haunting, and you give them a voice.

[Diánna Martin (b..]

This is so, so sad - immediately made me think of my Grandmother in her nursing home...You are so tender in your approach, but the haunting image lingers with the reader long after they have read the piece.

Beautiful work.

My only criticism is the line "For a reason of usual pleasure" - I think at this point it seems they are beyond pleasure and it's really just sustenance; it also doe some reason didn't flow for me with the rest of the poem.

But, like I said, this is absolutely beautiful.

[Shannon K.]

I enjoyed it, but I found it quite slow to read, if you know what I mean. I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the elderly, and found them rather interesting. Overall, good write, because I don't know how you could improve it, but it doesn't seem quite right. hmm..I'll pnder over that. Good job.

[Autumn M. Miller aka Mo..]

Very sad and telling. Knowing some family who has suffered this fate makes it all the more real.

[Mary Brown]

I have had two great-grandmothers, two great-grandfathers, two grandfathers, a grandfather-in-law, and a grandmother that have all suffered with alzheimer's(or are still suffering, currently).

It makes me scared. I know it is coming...

This was very somber and very familiar. Thank you for your words.

[Brandy]

I've seen this very existence. It's hard to witness individuals lose their souls only to simply exist. Great representation.

Brandy

[Ben]

Their pain still lingers
Their souls are broken
Unknown for eternity
But still they�ve tried
To be alive
For such reason
We don�t know

You portrayed what happens often very well in this piece.


They eat
For a reason of usual pleasure
They still breathe
For they still want to live
And they sleep
Eagerly, their reasons
For life will end�

Once again very nice work here and a quite enjoyable piece to read, regardless of the time of night it was read.

With the right exposure and a little more thought to add to the length, this could really be a classic

Ben

[LadyLincoln]

I can relate to this on several levels...you know there are times when we want to search for answers as to why these things happen...but sometimes we have none.

Beautiful work.