Burnin' Paper Soul

Burnin' Paper Soul

A Poem by Asante

I love to think I'm changing --
you'd rather feel you know me
by the holes that I've warmed
in my worn-away shoes. The holes
in our soles
open windows to the soul --
I bathe the whole
in weightless Nike checks, and 
Adidas dashes, and I frown beneath
the brim of modern paper crowns.

What does that sing of me
and where I lay my head?

Gas cash to ash:
I roast the grass I rolled
in granny's money, in search of a 
sanctuary in the arctic heart of city.

What of me hums in tune?
Au clair de la lune
or
by the light of the moon
or
biding time until truth unearths herself within my rhymes?
I toss and turn 
until I writhe free of all routine
then
turn and toss 
until I feel at loss for doing so --
folded paper soul, burning slow.

© 2017 Asante



Author's Note

Asante
Just thoughts in reflection.

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Featured Review

This is brilliant, Asante. There are probably a couple of things to look at, but really I wouldn't change anything. The perfect line...could even be a title...

What does that sing of me

Seems to be an old hippie soul hidden in there someplace. I like it. Good write.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Wonderfully-spoken, Ted. I'm open to any suggestions, just as much as praise. I appreciate both ends.. read more



Reviews

Your writing is so fresh. You certainly understand the natural use of sound. But it's also packed with meaning and simple metaphors.
I like the way internal rhymes are scattered throughout the whole piece, yet you didn't make rhyme necessarily the focal point.
And here you clearly mixed a variety of poetic techniques which make the poem carry weight in its own right.

WELL DONE!!

Posted 4 Hours Ago


This is a wonderfully, soft, toughness description. Your writing has a lot of soul in it :) Lovely done.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

3 Weeks Ago

Thanks the most, Ana. :)
I like this, the flow of words & especially the use of homophones. Not quite vexed but a little perplexed by yourself? I do know that feeling.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Right on the button. Limbo, but teetering toward frustration. Thanks for your thoughts!
I f*****g love this. It is so well written and flows so well and hits all sorts of feelings.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Ah thanks, Riley! I appreciate that.
This is brilliant, Asante. There are probably a couple of things to look at, but really I wouldn't change anything. The perfect line...could even be a title...

What does that sing of me

Seems to be an old hippie soul hidden in there someplace. I like it. Good write.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Wonderfully-spoken, Ted. I'm open to any suggestions, just as much as praise. I appreciate both ends.. read more
I especially love the third stanza 'gas cash to ash...' the whole thing has powerful rhythm, I think your poems would be great spoken.
Really beautiful thank-you for sharing.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

That's a nice catch. I usually write with a beat in mind, somewhere off in the distance. I appreciat.. read more
' writhe free of all routine ~ then ~ turn and toss ~
until I feel at loss for doing so -- folded paper soul, burning slow. '

Changing who and what aches to somersault into another person in another place, maybe... defying convention, defying one's own rules maybe? You own and sing your own lyrics here, dance to your ownmusic.. it atrracts a second reading.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Wonderful articulation, Emma. I appreciate your feedback. Thank you!
emmajoy

1 Month Ago

Thank you.. I try.
I liked the title very much it creats a nice imagery

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

2 Months Ago

Thanks, Merit. I appreciate that.
'until I writhe free of all routine', the failure in doing so ain't a nice feeling and yeah that's what we end up doing, toss and turn... Love the wordplay in this write. Clever, I'd say.
I love to think too that I'm changing and making others feel that they know me ;)

I think this is by far my favourite write of yours, Asante :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

2 Months Ago

Right on the money. It's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" if there ever was one. On one han.. read more
Closed

2 Months Ago

Even your comment is excellently worded ;) 'to hell if you don't' more like ;p

You'r.. read more
This is fantastic. When I'm looking for new things to read, I always go by the title of the piece, or work, because that's what first paints the picture. The words inside of that work fill out the rest of the details - this was a piece that spoke honestly to questions we ask ourselves in life. It's such good work. No, it's fantastic.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

2 Months Ago

Ah, thanks a lot!

We're alike in that way: the first thing that pushes me to read mo.. read more
BThomvanWart

2 Months Ago

Of course! I'm happy to read your work. ^^

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12 Reviews
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Added on November 18, 2017
Last Updated on November 18, 2017
Tags: poetry, life, world, thoughts, doubts, questions, soul

Author

Asante
Asante

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