Isn't Ideal

Isn't Ideal

A Poem by Asante

Perfect life
doesn’t stimulate me--a concoction 
of the post-traumas 
who pencil my drama.
Nip and tuck, I’m merely 
silver and dust 
splitting differences 
into skin and verse.

Unfazed; unveiled--thin and unversed.

Time is lost where I let the clock direct, as
erected hearts render human rhythms obsolete.
Dying to the rapture of 
immortal notes; memories of 
spooning through the clouds in the tea leaves; faking
drunk to entertain our drunken gatekeepers.
Marionettes. I’d rather be in
pain.

© 2017 Asante



Siren's Song Chapter 2 Siren's Song Chapter 2
Lamia arrives in Westerwood, attempting to gather information about the town and its competitors.
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Featured Review

I get the feel of one who is struggling with the 9 to 5, punch in/ punch out routine of everyday life. His adrenaline is handcuffed and seeks stimulation. He wants something more. Hope he finds it and also remains in one piece. Nice use of words and images here.

Posted 1 Month Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

To me, you're right on the button as far as what you took away from this. Thank you very much, John... read more



Reviews

Honest and strong words shared. Your description made the reader feel the words. I felt the disappointment and I loved the use of the language. Thank you Asante for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you, my brother. I always appreciate your commentary. I'm glad to know that genuine feeling se.. read more
Coyote Poetry

1 Week Ago

You did and you are welcome my friend.
Ooh, I love this piece. I definitely picked up a sort of angsty rhythm to it, maybe like slam poetry or even lyrics. I can definitely identify with the blase frustration with the rat race and the everyday, surfacy status quo. Everyone is so fake and the search for the authentic and the real can be exhausting when the majority is dumb and numb and just doesn't care as much as us deeper souls.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

2 Weeks Ago

Couldn't have spoken it any better myself. You hit everything on the nail: from the fake vibes about.. read more
I get the feeling of the persona. sometimes its hard to be where is unfit for us.
good work :)

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

2 Weeks Ago

Speak your truth! Thanks, brother.
I really enjoy poems that not only speak to the reader, but conjure up as many theories as there are readers. This could be one thing to me and a different thing to someone else and entirely different than what you intended.
The perfect poet's line

Nip and tuck, I’m merely
silver and dust
splitting differences
into skin and verse.

Good write my young friend.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

3 Weeks Ago

I appreciate this, Ted. This one definitely has a few different, but worthy avenues that it can lead.. read more
it has a kick in it yum... like it


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Aye, thank you! I'm feelin'' that profile photo, too!
That last line really reaches out to me. I feel there's only so much one can put up with to come up to that conclusion. Pain becomes a part of you, so much so that you no longer seem bothered by it, or else you accept it as it is, to say your words - unfazed...

The first line too runs close to home with me. I feel perfect life is an illusion mainly, one which you keep going after but getting nothing in the end.

Btw, excellent word choices. I love this piece by you, Sante. x

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

I'm glad you relate to this, Yumna. That second part of your review was too true to me personally. ".. read more
Your poem is very good. It could also be the lyrics of a rock song. It transmits a very helpful message.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Aha, that's actually a really neat way of looking at it. I had a distant, thumping beat in mind whil.. read more
Jes' Pi

1 Month Ago

My pleasure.
You nailed it in the opening lines, calling "Perfection" out as a fraud, an ill-conceived trap. This poem is raw, intense, and a new call for Emersonian self-reliance, in a few powerful words. Though you write, "I'd rather be in pain," your words free you and express hope--hope in genuine thought and action. Nice work!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

A really solid set of takeaways, Robert. Thanks very much, man! I'm glad you enjoyed.
"[W]ho pencil my drama." Was it God? The Devil? Aliens? Was it you? Or was it me? Lights, camera, and action! Let us see . . .
The perfect life, yes, indeed.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Witty, bro! Reminds me of "Wesley's Theory" on To Pimp a Butterfly.
I love the way you put words in this conmposition, making depicting a deep meaning. I must say your writings are so meaningful and amazing!
Thank you for this :)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

My pleasure, Amrita. :)
Thank you for your thoughts just the same!

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Siren's Song
Siren's Song
In a sleepy hidden town, a resident wizard stands guard. The competition gets out of hand, and someone may not come back

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436 Views
13 Reviews
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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on December 10, 2017
Last Updated on December 10, 2017
Tags: poetry, life, world, thoughts, perfect, questions, soul

Author

Asante
Asante

NY



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