Death of the Fallen Angel

Death of the Fallen Angel

A Poem by poetic-raven2012

Pain set heavy in your eyes,
Shimmering tears I despise,
Cascading waterfalls down your cheeks,
Beginning rivulets and tracks across them.

 

Red veins contrast against sparkling blue pools.
Susurration; pounding ears,
Flying fireworks in your eyes;
Beginning the spread of pieces and flames across them.

 

Quivering lips of rosy red;
Unintentional shows of hurt.
Porcelain earthquakes jerking the flawless skin,
Beginning cliffs and rifts across them.

 

Glinting metal; a sharpened silver
Held in the grasp of delicate fingertips.
Gracefully gliding across the fair wrists;
Behold the death of the fallen angel.

 

 

© 2009 poetic-raven2012


Author's Note

poetic-raven2012
I wrote this during my summer class today, while everyone else was blah-blah-ing about adenosine triphosphate. Jeez, I hate Bio with a passion. Anywhoo;; I am really proud of this peice (although I'm sort of unsure about the last stanza,) and I'd love all of you to give me some constructive criticism and reviews, please!
--Jenn

My Review

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Featured Review

Wow that was gourgeously written! I normally ignore read requests but this one drew me right in. The concept of the fallen angel is one that is automatically interesting, but you've added levels here that I never thought about. The whole this just flows in a beautiful and heartbreaking way.

If this is what you can do in spare time during bio (believe me I know what you mean, I once plotted out two book sequels during chem) I am going to look at what else you can do! :-D

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

wow..!!that was amazing. .. very well penned piece.. .
you did a great job. . .
thanks for sharing.. . :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


WOw. I love the easy flow of this. Easy isnt the right word...Natural. That's the word I'm looking for. It has a beautiful, natural flow to it and it read wonderfully. GREAT pice, I'm sorry it took me so long to get to reading it. Keep up the amazing work!!!
Tru

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You have out done yourself again (as usual). I LOVED IT! And i can definately tell that you wrote it (with you snd your super descriptive style). I loved it!


Posted 14 Years Ago


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Jo
Wow, you've certainly got a talent for flow and description. This is really beautiful. I really enjoy contrast of something so terrible as suicide in the last paragraph and having it written so beautiful. That's talent, I could never do that myself and I'm glad to have read this! I've also learned a new word today :) "Susurration"
Flawless write!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow that was gourgeously written! I normally ignore read requests but this one drew me right in. The concept of the fallen angel is one that is automatically interesting, but you've added levels here that I never thought about. The whole this just flows in a beautiful and heartbreaking way.

If this is what you can do in spare time during bio (believe me I know what you mean, I once plotted out two book sequels during chem) I am going to look at what else you can do! :-D

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


wow, this amazing. Deep, descriptive, amazing detaii. I love the very last paragraph thing when you described the metal and sharp silver. As terrible as the action is, you make it sound like such a beautiful thing. BRAVO!!!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

On the second line, why did you say I despise when you're talking about the death of a fallen angel. If you're observing it, I could understand, but besides that, it's pretty good. It sent a good thrill through my veins, I'll have to admit.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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7 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 7, 2009

Author

poetic-raven2012
poetic-raven2012

Baltimore, MD



About
Hiya. I'm Jenn, I'm fifteen. I have the five most amazing best friends in the world. ♥ I spend as much time as possible with them as possible. I hate being home; my mom and I constantly fight. .. more..

Writing
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A Poem by poetic-raven2012



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