The Other Side

My story for 500 word group

I once sat on the streets of gold helpfully watching the careless humans below.  I would wander around in grass so green that I can't describe the vibrant color of it.  It felt like soft blades of velvet ticked my toes.  I wore a dress so bright white that it was almost blinding.  Now things have changed.  Things are much different.

I have been sent as a spy to the one place that everyone begs not to go to.  I came here because I was asked.  I had a choice in the matter, and agreed to help for a soul was stolen from us.  It was captured and not allowed its rightful place of eternity.  How could I say no?  I wouldn't want to be trapped here forever especially if I was wrongfully taken to the place that only the foulest of the foul are tortured endlessly with it never ending.  Why this soul was sneakily stolen, I don't have the faintest clue but none-the-less here I am.

I am walking the streets that are black as coal and they glimmer from the river of red hot lava that flows on either side.  I now am draped in a black leather skirt that hits my ankles and a red lace top that has long sleeves.  I have to watch every move I make for if I slip off one of the side I will burn forever.  I know my Father could fix me, but I have an assignment to finish first.  The biker boots are heavy and weighing me down.  Why on earth would human want to wear these clunky things?  They are so hot as well.  The only colors I see are that of fire and smoke.  If the color doesn't fall in those two ranges then it isn't here.  

I have been lucky so far and have avoided confrontation with any of the creatures that reside here calling this place home.  If I am found out they will torture me until one of my fellow winged spies can rescue me from the fiery pits of Hell.  It isn't a dry heat down here.  It is moist and damp.  It clings to your skin making you agitated and miserable.  These are two things I have never felt until now.  The sweat is pouring off my body in buckets and my hair is completely drenched in sweat.  Come to think of it I have never sweated a day in my life before.  It has a somewhat salty taste to it.  A few drops ran down my lips and into my mouth when I took a breath of the moisture saturated air.

Quickly I had to duck behind a stalagmite to hide from one of the Evil Ones minions.  You know them by their huge red and black striped horns that protrude out of their heads, and they all resemble reptiles.  That is probably why the heat doesn't bother them, they are cold blooded, and in more than one way.  You don't want to know the torturous ways they get even with spies like me.

Reviews

[Max]

I'm not sure what the 500 word group is, but I thank it for this story.
Your imagery is so dead-on I could swear I was in hell right next to the narrator.
I wish there was more of this story (and maybe there is, again I'm not sure what the 500 word group does), but I also like filling in the gaps on my own.
Great work, keep it up.

[just rose.]

Wow, this is seriously powerful and achieves with precision the sense of that place where no one wants to go. The idea of the spy is very fresh.

[clemon73]

Great story. I enjoy reading about the journeys through hell, Dante's Inferno is one of my favorites. Great description, very poetic.

[Bette]

love it, you could continue this my friend i can see a hole story. ( this sounds bad but i was saying well this is where i would go and i would take this here.lol habit i guess because of our project,lol)

[WayOath]

Ha ha, I really love this. It's amazing in detail that the imagery is almost tangible. I feel like I am sweating just reading it. Another thing I love is how it talks of the sweat and how she feels it for the first time. This gives the reader the insight that she has obviously been non-human her whole life. The way you laid it out made it an easy and flowing read. This is good work, I love it.

XWayOathX :)

[The Analog Kid]

Real cool concept. Love it. Great imagination:) First person works well here. Hell sounds a lot like Mordor...