Talking Down; Speaking Up

Wow. So the title for this astounds me. Don't know where it came from, but it blows ME away. About being bitten in the behind... Feeling vulnerbale only to be horribly let down.

Never had I born my soul;

once I try, among encouragement,

and once, I am proven foolish.

I am an inexperienced little girl.

      Disregard me.

         Discard me.

       Bombard me (with hope of SOMEDAYS).

 

The pedestal I just knew was

planted under your feet

proved only an illusion,

and the halo, a hologram.

 

Ignore my coos for

ATTENTION.

Don't dare be bothered.

After all, I'm still in high school.

What could I possibly know?

Reviews

[Kristin Brecoe]

Oh. And I love being on the inside, so I know what this is about. Stupid pedastools [s/p?]
Just so you know, you had a couple of spelling errors. And it's vulnerable, in the discription.

As for the poem...it really just explained how you felt. It makes me want to take that pedastool and smack him upside the head. Stupid, stinky boys. Stupid Love Season. Really, it is quite a pain.

-Kristin

[J.benjamin Rose]

I REALLLLLLLLLLLY dig this!
And, tho' I'm older, I completely relate, completely remember and completely experience a visceral response to this piece.
I don't write much in response to a lot of your stuff cuz i take for granted (assume) you have loads of support on your end.
Sorry, I'll do better and be less selfish.
Thanx for sharin' this with us.

As far as no constructive crit , clean up da spellin' errors and you've hit the mark.
ANNND, it IS pedastal.
DISCARD
BORE as in b-a-r-e
inexperienced
(i think you mean "someday" at least, i think it would sound better)
I think phrasing it, "the halo, a hologram" would read more smooth

I love this darkness and snide sarcasm.
PS- yer too smart for (him) anyway, right brecoe?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
PPS- dont mean to be sooo nit-picky but, it really is too good to be left with something as silly as spelling errorsagain, thanx.
JBR

[Kristin Brecoe]

Just notied what the cover art said. IT IS BRILLIANT!