The Black Death

It's a poem about the black death/ bubonic plague

Thump, bang, crash
The bodies fall

The sin has come
And consumed all

The black carriers scurry
Through the night
Like a Grim's pet
They snicker in delight

"Sinners will fall"
Is the message sent

That is

Until each pope falls

"This can't be what god has meant."

 

They know our bodies
Leave us holy
Yet wrought
Tis ailed, diseased

Numbers rise and never drop
Not a soul left behind
Only bodies left behind

The death bell tolls

They rot like a ruin
And the boils boil over
And they decay as they lay

Not a soul left to feel the sorrow
No one to feel an ounce

Of dreadful dismay

Reviews

[Will]

I'm a history nerd, so seeing the words "Black Death" drew me right in. I liked this one quite a bit, my favorite piece of yours that I've read so far. I absolutely love this line:
""Sinners will fall'
Is the message sent
That is
Until each pope falls"

Keep up the good work :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol nice. I have to admit I'm a bit of a history nerd to, the poem was probaly a bit of a hint. I'm really glad you liked it, I actualy wrote in middle-school while they were teaching it. :-) Of course I will always keep it up tis my pleasure.

[Shane Blackheart]

Very awesome poem. There are a few grammatical changes and spelling errors, but besides that I like it. I wrote an essay on the plague of the 1600's as my final in College Prep English my senior year of high school. I have it on here too. It's an interesting subject and time in history.

As for any advice on corrections:

"Sinners wil fall" - will

"This cant be what god has meant" - can't and had, as in a past tense statement, since it happened in the past (thankfully!)

"Tis, ailed, diseased" - not sure what was trying to be said here, but I think I get the gist. Maybe write 'tis ailed, diseased" instead?

Hope that helps. Of course you are free to do whatever you like with your own poem, as you wrote it and know how you want it. Keep writing! :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

by tis ailed diseased I meant that they where ailed and diseased? I didnt think it was very complicated. anywho im glad you liked. I write everything on here raw instead og using word so there will inevitable be some basic mistakes and such.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I will try to make some corrections

[Shane Blackheart]

It's okay, like I said, it's all up to you in the end. Just helping out a fellow writer :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

yuppers

[Alexa Tasch]

Very nice! The black death is one of my faavoriter subjects and you captured it perfectly. I could feel the dred and it was so dark. The concept you added of souls and sin was good too. Loved this!!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Emily, you have created good atmosphere in this piece. It is however a little sloppy in parts. Fourth stanza not sure you meant to spell until with two 'ls'. Penultimate stanza you use 'behind' in two consecutive lines. Other than that it is a good poem.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

ill fix the until part but not the behind part necause I did that no purpose. Its meant for reaiteration and emphasis.

[Jo March]

I really like the hipocrasy of the popes you put in :) it was very clever and of course everyone needs a vein of sacriledge in their poem. Lovely poem

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

of course!!! we cudnt have me being predictable now could we? NEVER! lol thanx so much jo :-)

[EvErEyEs]

"The numbers raise and never drop" best line.
Good ready :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

aww thanx so much EG!

[LadyBug]

Truth being told.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

im glad you agree that was the point

[Gunduz Keskin]

This cant be what god has meant
No one to feel an ounce of dreadful dismay

Change these two lines to the shorter and heavier.

Not a soul left -trapped-
Only bodies left -dropped-
They rot like -acid-

If you add some elusive distortion feeling words, this poem will be a good song lyrics.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

awww thanx!! yeah if i meant it as a song I can see how that would work.

[♥ Kinnixk]

Nice job! :D I'm only confused on the part where you said, "They rot like a rot."
I saw the picture in my mind. Very nice job (:

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol thanx , and rot is both a verb and noun so it works and I couldnt think of anything that sounded better

[♥ Kinnixk]

ohh okay (: I didn't know that.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol