Sweet dreams

Sleepless nights. Memory of love.

I wait in the dark
For sleep to tackle me
But sleep is now air
In my closed eyes is she

She smiles in my dream
I find myself smiling
Which I see through my eyes
Spirits catapulted by a sling

Humming in the midnight
My hoarse voice is sweet
I hope of a small bench
Where we both will sit

The world will no more exist
I will gently hold her hand
She will look at me with adorable eyes
And time won’t be sand

It will neither be the beginning, nor the end
It will go on and on, in the forbidden land.

Reviews

[Arman]

hey are you crazy? why you select this title?
you didn't saw my poem ?

[Érenn]

buddy people can have the same title but have different content ^^ Nobody has a copyright claim on that. So I think you should apologise for calling someone crazy when they have done nothing wrong. There are many writes having same titles all over the forum so don't lash out like this. ^^

[Arman]

OK! then i am crazy!

[Caleb]

Okay so I am going to be the bad guy here. I did not like it and that's just a personal opinion. I have a problem with free verse poetry, I simply don't considerate it poetry. Now others can see the beauty in pieces such as these, but I can't see past this one thing. From the other reviews I have no doubt that this speaks to people, but it doesn't speak to me.

[Pranab Bagartti]

Fine :) Any suggestions?

[Caleb]

Try not to write in free verse. Its good to start off this way; to get your feet wet in some manner, but try slowly incorporate a meter and rhyme scheme. To be fair, I just wanted to be different and make you question yourself, but constructed criticism works too.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A delicate and telling piece that relates well, well done, good read.

[Pranab Bagartti]

Thank you :)

[Aly]

Very well written. I can relate greatly to you

[Pranab Bagartti]

Thank you so much :)