Dear Stranger

Dear Stranger,

 

At Once I saw you locked in the walls of a resting train. I sieved the meddling crowd to get a glimpse of you. A scarf draped around your neck you were nonchalantly staring through the window now fogged by your warm breath.Your eyes were staring at no particular thing. They might have been, but it surely wasn't me. The taller heads of the crowd played hide and seek, yet I managed to lock my gaze on the glass walls separating our worlds. The engine coughed, the train pulled, yet your eyes seemed stoic. It seemed that all the mania around you had no effect them. Your pondering eyes found a train of thought that was poles away from the train you were on. Perhaps it turned down the volume of everything around you. I wished I could ride away with your train of thought.

 

The sun raised an inch higher on your window. The rays painted your pallor with a gaussian blush. Oh, it was the sight of skin that'd been tendered for years. The sight of a woman who had been loved in her childhood, who played with fleeting pigeons and bathed with morning swans.

 

The train pulled you away from me, I for some reason felt the platform move. A momentary loss of consciousness as you treaded away. You took your world of tranquility and peace with you leaving behind a ruckus of horns and loud gawkers.

I know for a fact that wherever you are, dear stranger, wherever this train took you, you would have filled the air around you with beauty, peace and poise. For you are a rare nobility to be admired, you are a portrait to be painted, a sonnet to be sung, a memory to be cherished and if I ever get to see you again, I pray that my will shall get the better of my romanticism, so that I can register your aura in the realm of my senses. . .

 

 

Pranav Malhotra 

Reviews

[cycy]

wow...this is definitely the best story i have read on here. i can definitely relate, a chance encounter with the perfect stranger but somehow you will always remember every single detail even how the wind blew and their hair moved and all. you described it so well i could actually picture it in my mind. beautiful..absolutely beautiful. very well written indeed.

[Pranav Malhotra]

Thank you so much.
Hope the note found you in a happy place.
Loads of love.

[cycy]

happy place indeed..well i had the privilege of meeting my stranger thrice...on the first 2 occasions we could not engage because we were both surrounded by other people but we made so much eye contact there was an unbeleivable connection. then the third time we finally talked and gave him my number. turns out we don't quite click so much hahahahahahah..funny thing this universe.

[Mary Christabel George]

Vocab is good & good use of Periodic sentences.

[Ruth]

This is absolutely beautifully rendered...lovely visuals and heartfelt pangs...really moved me and a favourite :)

[Aehr]

I was mesmerized by your description. What a great piece of writing. I love how it was a one-sided interaction, that the woman in this little tale does not even know that she has crossed someone else's mind in such a way. I could imagine everything you have written. You froze the moment with your words and immortalized it. Thank you so much for sharing this, I really, really loved it. Shelving it. :') Keep writing. X

[Emily B]

beautiful, reverential and such a gift on Christmas day!

[Pranav Malhotra]

I'm glad it made your christmas a tad bit more cheerful.

[Laminators Dubai]

so sweet...creepy too...but a awesome write...
well done!

[Pranav Malhotra]

what ? how ?

[Juan de Rajah]

To see a beauty once, and to never see it again, and to have her face stuck in one's head. I felt the moment, as if the train was the screen of my monitor and her face was seen through it, though I doubt I can imagine fully what you saw. For thirty seconds I was somewhere else in the world. Beautiful, beautiful!

[Pranav Malhotra]

Thank you so much

[Virtuosa X]

So absolutely beautiful.

The details allows for great imagination and a greater feeling of what the author speaks of.

Great job!

[Ees]

In the first paragraph: " They might have been, but it surely wasn't me." This sentence is alright, but the phrasing was just a little confusing, if you wanted to look at that one again. ( I really like the way that you have written most of this though, especially the bit about taller heads playing hide and seek.)

Your second paragraph is exceedingly beautiful. As is the whole thing really. You did a wonderful job with this quick little glimpse at a moment and of thoughts and of looking at this person. Great job!

[Pranav Malhotra]

Duly noted
Thanks alot
Cheers :)

[J_Star]

You've got some lush and gorgeous turns of phrase in here. My favorites:

"I wished I could ride away with your train of thought." --what a great image.

"The rays painted your pallor with a Gaussian blush." (as a photographer, I particularly appreciate a nice use of the word Gaussian.)

and, "register your aura in the realm of my senses".

Enjoyable read!