I'm Not Her

Wishing to have truly grown up and away.

*
simplicity is not my favorite word
it reminds me too much of my own life
i've never gone towards
the sharpest knife

the dullest ones are safer
i can't believe i'm writing this on paper
i guess i've always liked to lie about who i am
why can't i escape her

the girl i once was
the one who only spoke through 'blahs'
she never had meaning to her words
that girl never cared about the effect from her cause

renew me
i will forever plea
because im holding myself back
i have no reason to believe

that i had eventually
changed for the better possibility
so i can be this person i am capable of and ought to be
and never again be filled with so much animosity
*

Author's Note

Writing longer poetry seems more difficult for me. I hope this one turned out alright.

Reviews

[Lavi]

This poem made me feel nostalgic. Reminded me of when I felt lost and angry at myself for hating being angry at others and a lot of self-loathing. It was like I was trying to find my own way but had no idea how. I believe a lot of people feel like their holding themselves back no matter who they are or what they're doing, heck I feel like that sometimes. Good poetry is always something I can connect to and the fact that this is raw and intuitive... its also uplifting though, because you're seeking change.
Thanks for sharing.

[preoccupied]

You nailed exactly how I felt in this review. That means a lot to me because, I'm really glad this poem can reveal how I felt/feel. Thank you so much. I appreciate your comment.

[emipoemi]

This turned out stupendously! Stanza 2 simply blew me away! Well done!

[Coyote Poetry]

Life can make us wiser. I liked and the want of the poetry.
"renew me
i will forever plea
because im holding myself back
i have no reason to believe"
The above lines. Perfect. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[G.C.... aka Gene]

simplicity is not my favorite word ...
favorite part and neither is mine, good penmanship and it turn out just fine!

[Poetic License]

This is beautiful, my friend. I love the search, the quest to finally be the "more" you have always wanted, only to find out that you're terrified of being her. I have faced this so many times - still do, to a large degree. You capture this perfectly.

i've never gone towards
the sharpest knife

the dullest ones are safer
i can't believe i'm writing this on paper

I adore this transition. I love how you chose to break it this way - as though you had in mind to soldier on with your admission and then caught yourself, got the better of yourself. I can actually see the mind milling here.

Kudos. I greatly enjoyed this. I can identify and I love the technical aspects.

[MommaGamer10]

I believe you have done a great job here, you can even hear the two different personalities watching each other in this.

[emily.c.]

this is lovely, you can hear your voice all the way through. I liked "the dullest ones are safer
i can't believe i'm writing this on paper"